Park Slope Top Ten: Places to Get Blazed

Let's face it. People be puffin' all across this great city of ours. Whether you're an East Village guitarist or a Bed-Stuy hood or a Park Slope mommy, sometimes you just need to chill out with some smoke every once in a while...calm the ol' nerves.

Of course, that chillin' out ain't always happening in the comfort of folks' homes. Sometimes a man just needs to get away from his apartment or job or whatever, take a leisurely stroll, and take off the edge.

I mean, walk around the Wall Street area around lunchtime and there's a good chance you'll catch a whiff of the green...and believe me, that scent ain't coming from the protestors in Zuccotti Park. It's eminating from traders out on their lunch breaks. This same scenario happens all day long throughout the city. All I'm saying is that as a seasoned smoker, the nose knows.

Here in Park Slope, there are a whole BUNCH of great places to get high in public. Seriously, burnout. Get up off your couch and see the neighborhood...ON WEED.

Prospect Park / Photo via inetours.com
10. Prospect Park - This one's a no-brainer. I know...city ordinance blah blah no smoke in park blah but c'mon...if you can't find yourself a place to steal away with a spliff in the park, you're doing it wrong. Seriously, just take a stroll down a random trail and take in some goddam nature. Just be careful. You don't want to accidentally travel down one of the "surprise blowjob" trails...or then again, maybe you do.

9. Polhemus Pl or Fiske Pl - Do you even know where these streets are? They're two of the most off-the-beaten-path streets in Park Slope, so if you can find them without using Google maps, it's worth rolling one up and heading down one and back up the other, taking in their oft-forgotten scenery.

8. The back patio at Bar Reis - Sure it's often pretty crowded out on the Bar Reis patio but people are usually doing their own thing and chain smoking back there anyhow. As long as you keep it on the DL and be quick about it and don't fill up the area with the scent of sour diesel, you're all good.

Old Stone House / Photo by Flickr User jag9889

7. JJ Byrne Park - At the moment, this park's all torn up and fenced in but when it isn't all f'd, you can transform it your own cheesy stoner paradise. Check it: You can go there at 4:20 and make jokes with yer pals about "Byrning" and getting your "Old Stone House" on. Doesn't that sound HELLA SICK?

6. Park Slope Food Coop - I can't confirm this one firsthand but there’s no way they aren't blazin' at the Coop, right? I mean, they're all a bunch of hummus-scoopin', kale-lovin' hippies, right? Hummus-scoopin', kale-lovin' hippies are all into the weed. There has to be a secret spot where they all go to partake. Coop workers! Break this story and win FIPS' undying gratitude.

5. Gregory Pl (the alley behind the 5th Ave Key Food) - How BALLER is it to say that you smoked weed in the alley behind the Key Food? QUITE baller if you ask me.

4. Bartel Pritchard Square - This is more of a nighttime-only locale, as during the day there's a whole mess of car traffic and foot traffic buzzing around. At night, you can at least be a little discreet about it. Bonus: You're just steps away from that shitty movie theater, so you can pre-game a little bit and then catch the Footloose remake on the big screen.

Bartel Pritchard Square / Photo by nycgovparks.org 3. Park Slope Playground - After dark, this playground is kind of Top Notch Gentlemen territory, so you might need to know gang signs to hang out here. Still, it's currently the most famous outdoor pot smoking locale in Park Slope so lighting one up there will make you famous by proximity. After all, the Daily News covered that shit.

2. The back patio at Cherry Tree - One late afternoon a few months back, I was at Cherry Tree chilling in the way back patio drinking and smoking and blogging away when two ladies and a dude came out and sat at the table next to me. We got to talking and it turned out that they worked around the corner at some city job. Did I mention it was late afternoon? After maybe fifteen minutes of conversation, dude whips out a joint and just starts passing it around. My faith in city employees was COMPLETELY RESTORED.

1. Um... - Fuck. I had a really good one for number one but I...fuck. Let this be a cautionary tale. Marijuana is bad for your mem...Aw man, #1 was really friggin' good. What was it? Ok, screw it. Let's just make #1 the front steps of one of Park Slope's many majestic church buildings. You're TOTALLY going to hell for smoking weed anyhow...might as well go out in a BLAZE of glory.