A Call To Arms! Excelsior!

Word on the street is that Excelsior--Park Slope's venerable gay bar--has lost its lease, and won't be open (at least, not in that location) after the end of the month. For me, I'm hoping that they find a new space, and I'm planning to show my support by having drinks there as often as possible, in the next few weeks. You should go drink there, too, I think.

Excelsior has been serving drinks to the gays (and the gay-friendlies)] since 1999, when it filled a void left by all of the shuttered Brooklyn gay bars that came before--Carry Nation (in Park Slope, named after a hatchet-wielding prohibitionist), Friends (on Atlantic Ave.), and Whatever (also in Brooklyn Heights). When I first moved to New York from Chicago in 2000, Excelsior and Ginger's had planted a rainbow flag on 5th Avenue, and it was one of the reasons I knew that the Slope was the Brooklyn Neighborhood for me.

I hung out a lot at Excelsior after I first moved here. But when my friends and I celebrated my birthday there in 2004, my life changed--very much for the better.

READ MORE

Water-Tight Legal Action Means Brooklyn Nets Need To Change Their Name

Image via http://brooklyn-nets.tv/There is an epic legal dispute brewing between the Brooklyn Nets NBA Basketball team and Ambassador Dr. François De Cassagnol, who purports to own the trademark of the Brooklyn Nets.  Lest you think this is a frivolous lawsuit, allow me to direct you to the spectacularly craptastic website that Ambassador Dr. François De Cassagnol has created to make his case to the world.

Ambassador Dr. François De Cassagnol, as you are no doubt already aware, is one of the most important and significant individuals extant on planet earth.  He is the founder and chairman of the board of the Dr. De Cassagnol Publishing House, Studios and Museum Group.  He is also the proprietor of The Global Diaspora SuperPAC Fund, CyberVillage Corporation and The Virtual Churches International.  His résumé includes his credentials as an Ambassador (former Governor of Louisiana appointed him "Ambassador of Goodwill" for the state of Louisiana), as well as photos of Ambassador Dr. François De Cassagnol with such dignitaries as Madeline Albright, Al Gore, Nancy Pelosi, and Newt Gingrich.

READ MORE

Old Salad Coming To A Park Slope Curb Near You

Image via earthcycle.comFor a while, now, the city has had a pilot program for curbside collection of food waste in Windsor Terrace.  But coming this spring, the program will expand to Park Slope, Gowanus and Sunset Park.  Since food scraps can be turned into compost that's used to fertilize gardens, and since the denizens of Park Slope just loooooooove the environment, everyone's expecting that this food scrap collecting plan is going to take off like baby Jesus wearing a jet pack inside a rocket ship that's strapped to the back of one of the Thundercats.

In other words, the city's got your number, Park Slope.

READ MORE

Dante de Blasio Throws His Political Mandate into the Crapper

The recent mayoral election signaled a turning point in American politics.  Post-November-5 It is no longer possible for a candidate to win an elected office, without having two really awesome children and their spectacular hairstyles front-and-center during the campaign.  Though Bill de Blasio won the election, it was not truly his victory.  In our heart-of-hearts, we really all voted for his son, Dante de Blasio to be the Mayor of New York City. And we hoped that Dante, powered by his wry smile, blindingly-white teeth, and hipper-than-thou afro would enact a sea change of changing seas in New York City...

...which is why it's extremely troubling that Dante de Blasio would squander his mandate on an issue which is uniquely personal to himself, and himself only.  Namely, the length of his commute from Gracie Mansion on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, and Brooklyn Technical High School, in Fort Greene.  According to Politicker, the de Blasio family is still undecided about whether to leave Park Slope, and the primary factor weighing in favor of staying in the Slope is Dante's commute.

READ MORE

Park Slope is less slutty than Williamsburg, more slutty than Bay Ridge. Discuss.

The good people at howboutwe.com* have taken data from the 2012 NYC Community Health Survey, and created a handy map of neighborhoods in all five boroughs to figure out which parts of town enjoy a "healthy dose of promiscuity."

A healthy dose of promiscuity, apparently, means that you've had more than three sex partners in the past twelve months. Not exactly three. Three or MORE than three.  So, like, if you had six thousand sex partners in a year, because you're Elliot Spitzer or something, that would still be defined as "healthy."  Okay.  Fine.  Whatever. The community health survey didn't let disgraced politicians skew any averages.  I get it.

According to the survey (and the resulting map) Park Slope is not particularly slutty.  Only 5.6% of the residents of Park Slope, Brooklyn Heights and Downtown Brooklyn had three or more sex partners in the last twelve months.  Bo-ring!  Contrast that with East Harlem, where nearly 20% of residents are fucking around.

READ MORE