2 Train Peen Video

Want to see a gross vid of some dude trying to undercover masturbate/flash his peen on the 2 train late last night?

WELL, DON'T MIND IF I DO!

(and in case "gross vid" and "2 train peen video" wasn't enough of a warning, this shit is obvs NSFW)

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WHO GIVES A SHIT: Sex Ed?

Oh my poor little tween (and not just because I'm clearly an embarrassment). I was wondering how he knew so much about sperm counts and my last case of PMS, and then I happened upon the diagram above on my dining room table yesterday, and all became clear. 

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MISSED CONNECTIONS: Naked Artist, Where Art Thou?

I don't need to introduce this one...not that I'd have anything to say, anyway:

The naked artist. - m4w - 28 (Park slope 16th st btw 4 & 3rd aves)

I live behind you and you use to change every night with your blinds open. It got colder and you started to close them. I use to fuck my girlfriend with our blinds open hoping it would turn you on. Since I first saw you you turned me on. Now all i see you doing when i walk this way is you painting and your sexier than ever now. If you read this let me know what you would like me to do, be it either pleasure you or ignore you and put up thicker blinds so i cannot see your ravishing body through.

Either or.

So, Naked Artist of Gowanus ('cause we all know this ain't the Slope), where art thou?

Are Park Slope Gyms The Best Gay Hookup Spot in Town?

Photo: Park Slope Lens

If there's one thing I've learned from daily perusal of Park Slope Missed Connections, it's that there's always, always an m4m posting at one of the three zillion gyms in the hood. Sometimes they're hotter than others--actual nameless hookups looking to make it happen again--and sometimes, it's like this stuff from the last coupla days:

Harbor Fitness Park Slope - m4m (Park slope)

Date: 2011-04-12, 6:08PM EDT

Whats up with all the HOT latin men at this gym? they seem very curious. Anyone ever hook up here?

cute guy on elliptical at nysc park slope today - m4m - 29

Date: 2011-04-11, 7:16PM EDT

you were the cute guy - 20's, light hair and a college t-shirt on the elliptical around 5-6 today. saw you again in the locker room while i was changing. tell me the university on your tee ;)

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WANNA HAVE SEX SEX WITH YOUR UMBRELLA-ELLA-ELLA-EH-EH-EH?

Babeland is cumming out with a special new product just in time for April showers!

Introducing the Vibrella, a vibrating umbrella. It picks up vibrations of the rain to totally mind fuck your vagina. It’s like having sex with nature. This sounds like the best idea ever, but here are a few concerns:

1. After rubbing this umbrella handle all over my vag, am I supposed to walk around clutching it?

2. My vagina is already so wet, an umbrella won’t do shit.

3. It has Babeland written across it. Won’t that blow my cover?

4. I already use my regular umbrella as a vibrator. Is that weird?

If this sounds like your wet dream, pick up a Vibrella for just $65 bucks.

[ed note: our concerns over whether or not this was an April Fool's joke were responded to with the following response from the Babeland camp: "No, it's the perfect accessory." However, when you click through to try to purchase this thing, you get a 15% off coupon and a notice that it IS an April Fool's joke. BUT NOW I WANT A VIBRATOR/UMBRELLA and so, what?? Joke's on me, I guess --Erica]