Vomiting Pretty Woman, Your Prince Awaits [MISSED CONNECTIONS]

Image via www.classescasesandchaos.blogspot.com

Oh, Park Slope. In this cold, horrible world in which we live -- the one in which I contemplate kicking your strollers and you often consider shoving me off my bike in traffic, admit it -- sometimes you find the warm-fuzzy in situations. Especially situations involving vomit.

Just like this Craiglister, for instance:

m4w, 22, of Park Slope writes:

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Your Park Slope Missed Connections

Image via www.lovetrekker.com

7th Avenue F Station: Metro Card Swipe (M4W)

You, kind lady, were generous enough to swipe your Metro Card for him to get in, even though it wasn't an unlimited (you can't actually double swipe an unlimited, but whatever). He'd like to return the favor, perhaps by treating you to a meal that costs exactly $2.25. 

V-Day Didn't Deliver? Don't Worry, This Guy Will Hook Up Your Trolling Ass [MISSED CONNECTIONS]

You, lonely single: Your Valentine's Day sucked, everyone around you was getting all snuggly 'n' shit and here you are, already having made your candy sale trips to both CVS and Duane Reade. So, where do you turn next? Missed Connections, obviously! Since that chick with the glasses reading Proust who never looked up from her book was SO checking you out, too!

OK, so I actually can't make fun of MC, because 1) it gives me pretty much all my fodder for this here blog and 2) I've been MC'd four--count 'em, four--times. And they all ruled. But there's a(n admittedly cute) dude with glasses, a Ph.D and a professorship at NYU-Poly who's taking all the sleuthing and trolling out of Missed Connections.

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Are You the Ugly Douche? The Sick Dog Lady Has a Message 4U [MISSED CONNECTIONS]

Photo by Elliott Erwitt

I have like, no clue in holy hell what any of this is supposed to mean, but I'm dying to find out if any of you are the Ugly Douche or the Sick Dog Lady, 'cause I want more of this story:

You: Ugly douche courting dopey woman at Union & 6th - w4m - 30 (Park Slope)

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MISSED CONNECTIONS: Haaaay, Single Co-op Boys!

You a single, a Park Slope Food Co-op dude looking for some action? Out yourselves! Wear a special armband or something! Corrall yourslves near the organic tofu! 'Cause this chick wants to get it on with you:

to all the cute boys at the co-op - w4m - 26 (park slope)

I realize that 95% of you are married and have cute-ass kids who love kale as much as you do. But that other 5% MUST exist and I'm determined to find you...let yourself be known! 

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