How Rich Are You?

According the to data on this addictive new site Envisioning Development:

• The median income in Park Slope in 2006 was $84,600
• An avg 1 BDR apt was $900, an avg 2 BDR was $1800 and an avg 3 BDR was $2700

Also, looks like most people round here are either housekeeper every day rich (High Income = the pink boxes), or housekeeper every week rich (Middle Income = green boxes).

In other breaking news, Coopretards are annoying, Two Boots is overrun with whiny brats and Maclaren strolers are kinda cool if you're a BREEDER who likes to live on the edge.

(via Curbed)

You Like Tits, I Like Co-Ops

If you're into real estate porn like I am, you might want to hop on over to itunes and download the new Corcoran app.

It's pretty slick with lots of sexy pictures, and you can look up both sale properties and rental properties. OR you can stalk your neighbors and drool over all the shit you can't afford to buy eventhough we're in the middle of a recesh and shit probably won't ever get any cheaper than it is.

Yeah...or that.

(via Curbed)

The *Real* Park Slope Co-Op

photo: Hannah Whitaker for NY Mag

NY Mag has this long-ass article about the much talked about co-housing group, who may in fact be moving their asses to the outskirts of our leafy nabe.

Here's how this shit is gonna work:

• The group gets together $16 millies and buys some old mattress factory.
• Then they renovate the place.
• Then the co-op members get a 660sf apt for around $500k (which, depending where you are in Park Slope these days, is still slightly overpriced), along with 11,000sf of shared space including a great room, a kitchen, a playroom, an "adults only lounge" (kinky!), a courtyard and a wine cellar.
• Then they mostly gotta leave their door open, be chatty all the time, and try not to get annoyed by everyone else there. But gardening is totally optional!

[NOTE: how is this gonna affect their Food Coop shifts!? Cause if your "roommates" are eating communal food, then you all gotta work. And in a co-housing project, everyone is your roommate. That shit better be in the fine print].

It's likely no surprise to anyone that this sounds like the closest aproximation to hell on Earth I've ever heard of...but I'm the whiny bitch who gets home from work and doesn't want to talk to anyone except for Greg, the judges on SYTYCD, and the dude who handles take-out deliveries for Istanbul.

Man, These Senior BALLERS are BITCHES

Yes, kids are annoying as shit, but jaysus.

This retirement community in Florida wants to chase out this little red-headed 6-year-old girl whose mamz is buying crack pipes at the bodega. While her mom is gettin all Whitney Houston'd up, she's shacking up with granny and gramps, but as she's a wee bit under the age of 55, and their lovely little house is located smack dab in the middle of a retirement community, the senior BALLERS are p-i-s-s-e-d.

Grandma and Grandpa are willing to leave, but they can't sell their house because of the recesh-n-all, and their daughter is a crackhead, and man, the whole thing is just sad, sad, sad.

Hey, I know! Maybe Park Slope Parents can do a fundraiser for them?! And buy their house! And then start like a community, co-op time share program in Florida for stressed out Park Slope parents?? They can plant an organic garden, and hang hemp curtains and shit!

FIPS CARES!

(via Buzzfeed)

NOTE TO FUTURE TENANTS: PRESIDENT & 5TH AVE *IS* TOTALLY FUCKED

Even CNN says so!

It wasn't your fault, Playa. That spot must be over some Indian burial grounds or some shit.

Anyone wanna meet over there with a Ouija board and see what we can uncover?

(via an awesome FIPSer who emailed that CNN link in)