The *Real* Park Slope Co-Op

photo: Hannah Whitaker for NY Mag

NY Mag has this long-ass article about the much talked about co-housing group, who may in fact be moving their asses to the outskirts of our leafy nabe.

Here's how this shit is gonna work:

• The group gets together $16 millies and buys some old mattress factory.
• Then they renovate the place.
• Then the co-op members get a 660sf apt for around $500k (which, depending where you are in Park Slope these days, is still slightly overpriced), along with 11,000sf of shared space including a great room, a kitchen, a playroom, an "adults only lounge" (kinky!), a courtyard and a wine cellar.
• Then they mostly gotta leave their door open, be chatty all the time, and try not to get annoyed by everyone else there. But gardening is totally optional!

[NOTE: how is this gonna affect their Food Coop shifts!? Cause if your "roommates" are eating communal food, then you all gotta work. And in a co-housing project, everyone is your roommate. That shit better be in the fine print].

It's likely no surprise to anyone that this sounds like the closest aproximation to hell on Earth I've ever heard of...but I'm the whiny bitch who gets home from work and doesn't want to talk to anyone except for Greg, the judges on SYTYCD, and the dude who handles take-out deliveries for Istanbul.