BREAKING: Park Slope Is The 7th 'Dreamiest' Nabe Ever...ANYWHERE

Duh.

I mean, *we know* that everyone who doesn't live in Park Slope is jealous...and also probably has low self esteem...but now HGTV knows it too!

HGTV's FrontDoor.com picked 10 of the dreamiest nabes, and though we dispute the #5 inclusion of Coral Gables (as Florida is way too fucking hot to ever be considered "dreamy), Park Slope weighed in as #7 on the list:

"This neighborhood's historic charm, top-notch restaurants and shopping, and proximity to Prospect Park make it an attractive alternative to Manhattan for families and professionals. Seventh and Fifth avenues are Park Slope's main commercial areas, while other streets are occupied by renovated brownstones, which can sell for millions of dollars."

Also: lots o' MILF's

Brooklyn, I Love You, But I Would Ditch Your Ass In A Red Hot Minute For Palazzo Chupi

I don't know much about Art. I took a class or two in college, know a bit about the Impressionists, totally dig Elizabeth Peyton, and have bought some cool shit on Etsy.

That's about it.

I DO know, however, that artist Julian Schnabel, is a self-important, cock sucking ego maniac...and I know this because he acts like one every time he opens up his stupid, fat, fucking mouth.

However, Palazzo Chupi kinda makes me want to forgive him for all of it.

Have you seen this fucking place? In the W. fucking village?

Click to read more ...

Apparently We Gotta Throw Down With Fort Greene Now

According to this handy lil chart, apparently peeps wanna live there just as much as they wanna live here. Ideal Properties Group claims "for the first time in 2008, an almost equal number of tenants considered Fort Greene as did Park Slope."

Fuck that fuckin bullshit. Yo! Fort Greene: meet us at 4pm tomorrow in front of Juniors and we'll settle up this shit like real men.

(NYO via Curbed).

Wow, I Kinda Like The Way 'G-Slope' Rolls Off Ur Tongue

It sounds a bit like "g-spot."

Too bad G-Slope got totally clobbered in the Curbed Cup battle royale of NYC nabes (getting the shit kicked out of itself by Nolita, no less...).

In case you are wondering where the fuck G-Slope is: it's right next to P Slope...not quite Gowanus, not quite Park Slope.