BREEDER v. BALLER: Baby Names

IMAGE VIA DANIELLENICOLESMITH ON FLICKR

Each week Once in a blue moon, we will attempt to bring you the unbiased, unedited points-of-view of a bonafide, ginuwine Park Slope Breeder (mom) and a real deal, smokin, sexin, drinkin Park Slope Baller (child free-n-lovin it) on a variety of topics. Identities will remain anonymous, of course, to protect the soon-to-be lynched. This week: Baby Names!

Click to read more ...

Help FIPS Win A Free Breast Milk Baby Doll

How can it be that NOBODY in greater Park Slope is stocking the newly released Breast Milk Baby Doll, the much anticipated US release of the world's FIRST breastfeeding doll? 

I was a little distraught about this "toy" until I found out that you lazy slackers wonderful readers can help FIPS win ourselves a free little sucker Savannah or maybe Jeremiah. So hard to choose from the six ethnically diverse dollies! This sucker is perfect for you BALLERS who claim that you don't ever want to have kids, because with this doll you could experience the suckling and burping, as well as the joys of cuddling a baby close, and all without the sleep deprivation and engorged boobies. 

Click to read more ...

Apocalypse Now: P.S. 321 PTA Auctioning Off $15,000 Ugly Mink Coat and $10,000 Pretty Pink Purse

Fucking Gothamist spies! How is it that they know about embarrassing and newsworthy(ish) PS 321 auction items before I do?:

Sure, school auctions have been an increasingly big thing over the years—not only as ways to raise money but also as social functions—but the prices at these things are getting a bit ridiculous when we are supposed to be coming out of a recession. Take, for instance, the current auction for Park Slope school P.S. 321's annual Spring Dance and Auction which this year includes a hideous $15,000 tiger-striped mink coat and a $10,000 Birkin bag (both donated by the same person).

Curious about who the donor might be and half wondering if it was Amy Sohn, I decided to check. Surprise, surprise: the donor turned out to be a dude.

Click to read more ...

Home Again: 85% of College Grads Living With Their Parents

Via Gothamist comes the news that the recession generation (or whatever the current crop of graduates is called) are returning home in droves. Like nearly ALL of them. 85% of college seniors are expected to move back home after graduation. Wow and shit. 

Can you sue colleges for misrepresentation? Because seriously, what has that nosebleed inspiring college education done for you lately? 

But Forbes has your back, with their year-old but still relevant feature article, "How to Avoid Living At Home After College." Their tips:  

Click to read more ...

WHO GIVES A SHIT: Sex Ed?

Oh my poor little tween (and not just because I'm clearly an embarrassment). I was wondering how he knew so much about sperm counts and my last case of PMS, and then I happened upon the diagram above on my dining room table yesterday, and all became clear. 

Click to read more ...