Apocalypse Now: P.S. 321 PTA Auctioning Off $15,000 Ugly Mink Coat and $10,000 Pretty Pink Purse

Fucking Gothamist spies! How is it that they know about embarrassing and newsworthy(ish) PS 321 auction items before I do?:

Sure, school auctions have been an increasingly big thing over the years—not only as ways to raise money but also as social functions—but the prices at these things are getting a bit ridiculous when we are supposed to be coming out of a recession. Take, for instance, the current auction for Park Slope school P.S. 321's annual Spring Dance and Auction which this year includes a hideous $15,000 tiger-striped mink coat and a $10,000 Birkin bag (both donated by the same person).

Curious about who the donor might be and half wondering if it was Amy Sohn, I decided to check. Surprise, surprise: the donor turned out to be a dude.

Wait a sec. Is this some War of the Roses revenge scenario? Recent widower? An owner of a fur coat and fancy handbag store? A SAHD who's thrown off his old cross dressing ways in favor of danskos and mom wear? I was running through possible explanations.

I tried to get somebody (anybody) to tell me what they would bid for the tiger striped mink coat and pretty pink purse. (I put in my $50 and $25 bids online yesterday, btw.) So far, I'm the only bidder. The most memorable replies...

Wait, what? Okay, first of all, they can do that to mink? And secondly, did someone famous vomit in the bag -- is that why it's so valuable? My God, you 321 people make the parents at our son's private school look like paupers.

and

I wouldn't bite on either. A brand new pair of closed heel, matte black Danskos, though? Priceless

and finally

Where the hell do I live? I couldn't even afford the ticket to go to the stupid auction!

Ironically, yesterday a "real" journo called me nosing around for a way of including Park Slope in their weeklong celebration of the upcoming apocalypse on May 21. I think this may be it: the harbinger she was looking for.