Who You Calling An Edgy Mom?

So, one of the side effects of my permanent banishment from Park Slope Parents is that I've been invited to join another club. I am now, God help me, an "edgy mom." Yes, the Park Slope doyenne of edginess, Louise “OTBKB” Crawford (aka smart mom/crazy lady) sent me a personal invitation. And no, it wasn't in the third person.

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No Child Left Behind: Park Slope Edition

Because I've been unavoidably detained lately, I didn't get to this post last week: Freaky Family Friday at PS 321 with a special invite to grandparents and special friends!

Yay!

Yes, I actually got a call from my mom in CT that she and my stepfather had it on the calendar.

Hunh? I didn't even remember inviting them.

But no worries there! The P.S. 321 PTA did it for me (obvs), on embossed friggin stationery (okay, I made that embossed part up. But, they really *did* get a letter from the school PTA).

Anyway.

I just want to lay your minds to rest, cause I know that all you BALLER people are deeply concerned that the children of Park Slope aren't getting the loving attention that they need: there were at least 3, maybe 4, special grown-ups for every goddamnned kid at that school. 

Yes, really.

Let no child of Park Slope be left behind! 

The FIPS Guide to BREEDER Essentials

Now that we've been named the BEST NABE IN THE UNIVERSE (KTHX), and Coffeegate has exploded, all eyes are on Park Slope.  So, we all have to look our ab-fab best.  Naturally, the BALLERS know how to work it, but BREEDERS, I'm worried about you.  (Especially those of you who've gotten, ahem, kicked out of Park Slope Parents and are currently lost, aimlessly wandering up and down Garfield Street faintly whispering, "What do I do with my life now?")  Never fear--FIPS is here to save your ass.  We have some swell recommendations for both you and that shining bastion of genetics-mâché you call your offspring.

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BALLERS AS Parenting Gurus?

In the wake of my little Park Slope Parents kerfuffle, all I have left for my predatory journalistic trolling is you losers.

So, I was thinking: with all the unsolicited parenting advice you BALLER know-it-alls like to dole out, I’d see what actual discipline tips you have for the put-upon BREEDERS of our noble nabe.

I know how you feel about the baby barfly issue...and the gigantic SUV strollers.

But what, as impartial observers and adult children, can you advise us on when it comes to raising the people who will be running the planet when you get too old to do it yourself. It’s in our common interest to raise them right, right?

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Spring Break 2010, Days 2-4: Let the Sun Shine In...

Day Two was kind of awesome, albeit wet.

I discovered that my boots are not, in fact, waterproof.

The younger guffawed her way to vacation camp as her little umbrella kept going inside out.

African drumming was so groovy when we came to pick her up, I could finally see the draw of the drum circle. Now, I'm going to have to stop making fun of them. I may even form a FIPS drum circle. 

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