Daym, Brooklyn Kitchens!

pic via Domino Mag (has nothing to do w/Brooklyn Kitchens, but its pretty, right?)

This shit might even be worse than the disturbing tales of woe uncovered by Eric at the Mac Support Store.

Apparently Brooklyn Kitchen & Baths, a kitchen/bath contractor and supplier on 5th Ave, has been inspired by the handiwork of Bernard Madoff, and is running their own lil' Ponzi scheme right here in Park Slope. Yikes.

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Bite Me, Michael Pollan

It is my new paranoid theory that Michael Pollan, author of Food Rules, was put here on earth to terrorize me. As if living among  organic-crazed, vegetarian/vegan, work-out obsessed Park Slopers  isn’t enough,  I now have to deal with MP and his highfalutin ideas about what I should or should not eat, drink, or buy splashed across every newspaper and magazine page I turn, and every high-brow talk show I listen to. 

Why in God's name should I or my kids not eat overly processed, genetically engineered food from time to time? If it’s not food, as MP claims, what is it?

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STFU, Fresh Direct Trucks

As the self-proclaimed official FIPS bitch in the hood, I would like to direct your attention (and my righteous indignation) to the topic of noise pollution. Specifically, the Fresh Direct truck that seems to be permanently idling late at night and early in the morning in front of my goddamned apartment.

Apparently, Fresh Direct agreed last spring to comply with requests from the Attorney General's office that they would cut this shit out. They promised to install automatic shut-offs in all their trucks that would kick-in after 60 seconds, in order to get out of $70,000 in fines. Yeah...uhm, not so much in front of my building (yours??). Anyway, even if they *are* shutting off the engine after 60 seconds (which they are clearly not), most of the noise seems to be coming from the fridge part of their trucks.

Are there any refrigerated trucks that are NOT deafeningly loud?  Am I the only sensitive flower around here?

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WHO GIVES A SHIT: World's Worst Drivers?

I realize I am risking a riot here, but the question must be asked: why are Hasidic men such shitty drivers?

I was just treated to the hand-on-the-horn honk-a-thon, courtesty of a minivan on 8th Ave...and yes, it was two Hasidic Jews.

Newsflash: This is Brooklyn; there’s traffic; there's pedestrians; there's a parade of bugaboos all up and down the block. Deal with it! No need to scare me and the pooch with the your loud assed spite honks! (or wake up sleeping BALLERS!) I thought these guys are supposed to spend all day studying the torah and tending to spiritual shit??

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DOG PARK WARS: Eggs-N-Bitches

So, looks like this dog park egg saga shit is still goin on.

Gothamist reports that there was yet another incident of a dog and their owner just chillin out at the dog park behind that ugly ass Novo condo on 4th Ave, when out of the sky came a flying egg.

Here's the thing Novo egg-throwing asshole: we all live in motherfucking NYC...and its noisy here. You hear sirens, choppers circling, bebes crying, husbands beating the shit out of their wives, frat boys playing Madden, bands rehearsing, morons with car alarms, horns honking, and all sorts of annoying shit. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

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