5 Ways to Get Fit in Park Slope...Minus a Gym Membership

I must confess...I love the gym. 

I like being in a big sweaty room, commiserating with a bunch of strangers about how our fat asses need to be less fat. There's something to that. 

BUT -- not everyone wants, needs, or can afford a gym membership...so we've gotta' come up with some ways to stay fit in the Slope, sans the gym. And if you have a membership at a YMCA or NYSC, you can still add these into your normal workouts to spice things up, like when that Cardio Dance Salsa Boxing class is full.

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Here are some HEALTHY Park Slope DELIVERY options FOR YOUR FAT, LAZY ASS

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When I first moved to Park Slope from Smalltown, USA, I was seduced by all the decadent dishes that were only a click of my Seamless app away. What do you mean I can get fried mac & cheese, fried pizza and twice fried cherry pie at 11pm on a Tuesday? (ChipShop, you are the spawn of Satan). But with the nicer weather upon us (because it's been such a ball buster of a winter), it's time to reign shit in, health-wise.

Turns out there are quite a few neighborhood delivery options that taste pretty damn good. And when the food arrives, you won't be treating the delivery dude like it's a hostage exchange. Here are my top three favorite Park Slope places to get healthy delivery:

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[SPONSORED]: PRIORITY FITNESS OPENS NEW LOCATION TOMORROW

Be honest: you ate 11 billion calories worth of food at Thursday's Thanksgiving dinner, right? And you still can't really zip up your pants, right?

I thought so. 

Well, the best way that I can think of to deal with this shit would be to hightail your ass on over to Priority Fitness's new group class studio which, lucky for you, opens TOMORROW. 

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Brooklyn: Now Serving PLACENTA

Image via FlashinthePan.net

Sometimes I’m embarrassed to say I live in this fucking borough due to its sheer ridiculousness. This is one of those moments. 

Pregnant women and recent mommies: Don’t worry one more second about what you're going to do with that post-birth placenta, because our very own city of Brooklyn has a professional placenta preparer! Jennifer Mayer specializes in teaching the art of preparing freshly-excreted placenta for you (and potentially, your significant other) to enjoy as a post-labor snack; a snack made of 100% YOURSELF.

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FIPS CARES: This Brooklyn Family Needs Our Help

Oh man.

From the Huffington Post:

"In a nine-day span, both Nathan Bond, 38, and his wife, 36-year-old Elisa, learned that they have advanced cancer. Nathan found out on Valentine's Day.

Nathan has Stage 3 colorectal cancer. He has been given given a 60% chance of surviving five years or more. Elisa has Stage 4 breast cancer and has just a 16% chance of surviving five years."

The two have an 18-month-old daughter and are now facing the daunting task of fighting their respective diseases, caring for their daughter, and paying for it all.

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