Subway Etiquette for Suicidal Commuters?

Top thread this morning from Brooklynian Park Slope...

stopdoingthis  Tue Apr 27, 10 9:46 pm EST 
If you're considering offing yourself during my commute, please reconsider, and go upstairs and jump in front of a truck instead of jumping in front of the train. Thank you!

canyontothesky  Tue Apr 27, 10 11:33 pm EST    
this seems to be happening so frequently lately. I only moved to PS a year ago, though, so, is it always like this?

the0ther  Wed Apr 28, 10 12:35 am EST    
maybe you should move to japan where they send the bill to your family if your loved-ones jump in front of a train?

Hamilton  Wed Apr 28, 10 6:32 am EST 
That only applies for the ones they can't use as sushi.

I'm chagrined to admit, I kind of guffawed into my coffee cup. And who knew that Japan actually bills suicide charges to survivor's families?

But it does beg the question. Perhaps the F train could start offering platform counseling services to troubled commuters.

What do you think?

SUBWAY ETIQUETTE: THE COMMON SENSE EDITION

We all know that the MTA sucks.  You're all dressed up and ready to go, and then you walk to the station only to find that your train is out of service and the only way you can get to your destination is to take the most ass-backwards route ever imagined—15 train transfers (and they always somehow involve Hoyt-Schemmememorjkrrhorn), going to a borough you didn't even want or need to go to, boarding a shuttlebus, getting off the shuttlebus, hopping on a pogo stick for 17 miles, etc.  

If you're lucky enough to avoid these transfer shenanigans, you can be assured that the smelliest homeless person on Earth will be on your train, along with several mariachi bands, a couple of pole-leaning douchebags, and maybe a hip-hop dance crew.  

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GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BACKPACK OUTTA MY MOTHERFUCKING FACE

This picture was taken Wednesday night, around 6:30 on the Brooklyn Bound Q Train. How did I get this photo, you might be wondering? Well, I managed to snap this by lifting up my iphone 1 millimeter from my face. Cause you see, that's WHERE THIS MOTHERFUCKERS'S BACKBACK WAS....DIRECTLY IN MY FACE.

Honestly, I'm bored of this shit too people. Like, why in the Christ are we still having this conversation?? How do you not know by now, that the moment you get on the subway, your backback needs to come OFF OF YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BACK??? You then place said backpack in between your legs, and stand there like a normal fucking human being until its time to get OFF the subway again, at which point you are then free to put your MOTEHRFUCKING BACKBACK back on your motherfucking back.

Any questions???

(p.s. This dude got off the train with me at the 7th Avenue stop...can anyone identify the stripey shirt or hipster wannabe haircut?).

Interview with the F-train's 4th Amendment Vigilante

"Ladies and Gentleman, I'm tryina raise money... not for no team - this for me: to keep me off the streets and outta trouble; if you care to donate, all I got left are Starburss and M&M peanut." 

When the radio silence of your F-train commute is broken by a sudden vocal outburst, the chances are you're in for a proposition like the one above. 

There is a possibility, however, that the voice you hear will instead belong to this man: he's not asking for contributions, not looking to sell DVDs, or screaming about how his life was changed by Jesus.   

He's the F-Train's 4th Amendment Vigilante, and he just wants to make sure that New Yorkers know their rights. 

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Subway Dramz: 'When People Stop Being Polite and Start Getting Real'

While ever changing and expanding, the current order of shit I hate around here currently shakes out like this:

1. Time Warner Cable
2. The Chip Shop
3. The MTA

Unfortunately for an outraged, anon FIPS reader, I'm guessing she's got the MTA chillin in spot #1. She sent along a copy of a letter that she forwarded to the new British MTA CEO Jay Walder (sidenote: this dude is the only tiny glimmer of hope that the MTA *may not* spend a bazillion of our dollars and self-implode, though who knows) about a harrowing incident that went down last week.

And who can blame her, really? For me, the MTA has become this quasi-embodiement of...well...the Atlantic Terminal Mall. No one cares, everyone knows it, and so we've all just totally given up. Like when you are in Target and you can't find something, you don't bother asking anyone where it is, b/c you know that they won't know. And when they don't know (and sneer at you for asking), you don't bother going to their manager because you know that they won't give a shit either. Same thing with the MTA: its every man/woman/child for themselves. If you need something, good fucking luck finding someone who cares. It's kill or be killed down in the subway...literally.

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