[NOT COOL] Gettin Freaky Deaky On The Subway

It's not exactly breaking news to me that MTA workers don't care, cause not only do they not care about you, your subway, your subway cards, or anything related to wherever you're going, they don't even really care about themselves based on cell phone conversations I've overhead many of them have with angry boyfriends and girlfriends while I'm standing there waiting to add $2.25 to motherfucking card. And while I didn't really *think* that police officers cared either, I thought that maybe they'd at least fake it, but I guess not. Clearly we're all on our own here, ppl. Happy masturbating in the subway everyone!

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Bus Pass

Let's have a moment of silence for the poor, benighted bus drivers of Brooklyn. 

Because, if you think your job (or lack thereof) sucks, it seems to me that of all the thankless professions in our great city, driving a city bus has got to rank way up there at the moment.

Just in time for cutbacks, I've become a regular on the 5th Ave bus and, man, it's full of teeming masses. 

According to real news reports (the Daily News, anyway), bus drivers are taking it in the chin for the MTA's sucky service. 

Happy Hurricaine Earl Day, Y'All!

Yep, today's the day Hurricane Earl is supposed to hit NYC (or Eastern Long Island, rather). But DON'T WORRY! The MTA has a gameplan!

Perhaps you might recall the day in August, 2007 it basically just rained v. fucking hard, and the subway system was pretty much just shut down due to flooding? Yep...good times all around.

So, the crack team of visionaries over at MTA headquarters are busily planning and plotting about how to make sure that shit doesn't happen again. I think the chances of them actually avoiding another day long shit-show (if in fact it does get all hurricaine'd up around here) are about as good as Lindsay Lohan avoiding any future arrests for the rest of her life. But whatevs...snaps for trying.

And sidenote: am I *really* supposed to be afraid of a fucking hurricane named Earl? I'm picturing some dude sitting out in a broken lawn chair in front of his double wide with his 4 front teeth missing. I think the hurricane naming people need to get with the Blackberry naming people and have them help come up with some goddammned ideas that strike fear in the hearts of the general population: Hurricane Brutus! Hurricane Remington! That's the sort of shit that would make me go out and buy 900 bottles of water and 178 batteries.

Anyway.

Hope we don't all die today!

FUCK YOU, FUCKING MTA, RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKING FACE

I cannot BELIEVE this bullshit.  The MTA—our favorite group of assclowns—has now come up with another genius way to rob us of more money.

They're proposing that monthly Unlimited MetroCards will now be limited to 90 swipes per month.  If that wasn't enough to send you down to the nearest subway station with an assault rifle, you'll have to pay an extra $10 a month for the pleasure of owning a Limited Unlimited MetroCard.

I HATE EVERYONE.

Via NY Mag

[BITCH-SPIRATION] How to Be A Better, Stronger, Faster Subway Douche

For anyone looking to step-up their subway douchery, I put together a nice round-up over at Design Blahg.

Check IT.