The Pavilion Movie Theater Has Officially Been Nominated As the Nastiest & Most Disgusting Theater in Brooklyn...And Won

Honestly, who the hell cares if the Pavilion has bedbugs anymore. I'd be more concerned about picking up some flesh eating virus...or THE MOTHERFUCKING PLAGUE.

These fine photos were taken by Brooklynian member SlipperySlope in Theater 5, and I think we can all agree that they are hardcore vom inducing.

ATTN ALL MOVIE THEATER OWNERS EVERYWHERE: if you have ever, even for one hot minute, considered NOT getting black seats in your movie theater, please look at these photos immediately and then go punch yourself in the face.

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PAVILION PRANKSTER

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Somebody is my fucking hero and I want to get their autograph.

This picture has been floating around facebook and email since noon yesterday. Apparently some disgruntled employee changing the marquis at the Pavilion Movie Theater put up "bed bugs," and then quit or was shit-canned.

If this story is true, this Pavilion employee makes the Jet Blue steward look like Dwight Muthafuckin Schrute.  

I left work EARLY just to see if I could get more flicks of this and ask questions - but by the time I got there, it was already gone, and the ticket clerk got red as soon as I said "bedbugs."  

"No, I'm sorry, the manager busy." 

[FILM RIOT] Silence of the Penguins

I woke up at 3 am last night. Not to watch the eclipse, which I had completely forgotten about. No, I was rudely roused by a strange other-worldly high-pitched sound. Like the keening of a herd of penguins waddling up 8th Avenue. Mr Popper's Penguins!

I lay there trying to figure out what in God's name I was listening to and slowly realized it was the sound of cars. Cars getting winched and towed. Lots of cars. Maybe half the frigging cars in the whole damn hood.

Speaking of which, did we win yet on Curbed? I thought we were getting our asses handed to us by the West Village except then Erica rode in to save the day and call out her followers. Because we love Park Slope so.

Anyway, Mr. Popper and his penguins are rolling into town, complete with fake snow on Montgomery. My husband most considerately didn't let Ziggy pee on any of it this morning.  

I'm just waiting for the Jim Carrey sighting. I don't know if I really want to meet JC. I've been known to get giddy over many a celebrity. I once said "I love you" to Richard Gere while stuck in traffic in the family car: a powder blue Chevy Impala station wagon of epic proportions. And he heard me too. We had a moment, RG and me. But, Jim Carrey? Meh.

Here's some more scoop on the movie. Apparently they're already freaking ppl out on Staten Island with their fake snow and revised signage at the Staten Island Zoo.

Oh, also: if you left your car parked on 8th Ave, it's probably already been towed!

ATTN BREEDERS: WHAT TO EXPECT TO BE TURNED INTO MOVIE

What To Expect When You’re Expecting (a book about totally FUCKED UP and UNFUN times) is being turned into a feature length film by Lionsgate.

Unless you’re totally high off kale chips, you know that What to Expect is the pregnancy bible for MILFS all around us. It spawned a whole unfortunate trend of fetus to fruit and vegetable comparisons that totally RUINED food for me. Moms at Associated Market (let’s get real--Union Market) are always talking about how their babies are the size of young ripe squash while I am just trying to mind my own business and eat a crap load of bread and olive oil samples.

Anyway, unless they are turning the book into a horror movie (I mean FILM), this news makes NO FUCKING SENSE. It’s as though no one at Lionsgate has ever had a mucus plug fall out of them--peeps don't want to imagine that shit, let alone see it on the big screen

Here are a few highlights from the book so that you'll know how many barf bags you should bring to the theatre with you:

• The fluid isn’t clear--it’s greenish brown.

• I cant seem to control my urine. It just leaks out.

• I did some cocaine a week before I found out I was pregnant... (OOPSIES!)

FUCK IT, I've changed my mind. This movie is going to rule harder than an erect penis that penetrates a vagina and gets it pregnant.

(via EW)

Jonathan Safran Foer To Park Slope: WHERE ALL MY WHITE BOYYYIIIZZZZ AT??

Ok, so mayyyybbbeeee JSF himself didn't put up this casting notice, but the coincidence is just too much fun to ignore.

From the Village Voice:

"Spotted in Park Slope by Runnin' Scared friend @stvspl: a casting notice for "9-13 year-old Caucasian boys" to appear in the upcoming Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, a film adaptation of Jonathan Safran Foer's 2005 novel about a nine-year-old boy's life in the aftermath of September 11th. With the names already attached to this project, forget the coop, Brooklyn parents -- this could be your (child's) big break!"

As for the names already attached, do Tom Hanks or Sandra Bullock ring a bell? I know it's not exactly Jake-n-Taylor or anything, but that still ain't chopped liver. Though you probs shouldn't audition if you *do* eat chopped liver, cause JSF is a locavore, vegan, raw foodist, or some shit.

Obvies Park Slope is ground zero for cute white kids, so I'd like to encourage all you over-the-hill BREEDERS (over-the-hill enough to have a 13-year-old at least) to audition immeds! This is your chance to make billions of dollars AND become BFF's with JSF so you can feed us "anonymous" tips about his take-out habits and/or propensity to download porn! Or illegal movies! Or whatever!

(via Daily Intel)