I Will Bet You All A Million Dollars That There Are Bedbugs At The Pavilion

I'm seriously considering switching the name of this blog to Bedbugs in Park Slope...what do you think?

Look, you people do whatever the fuck you want. But as for me, I have already added the Pavilion movie theater to the growing list of places that I will never, ever, ever, ever, step foot in again. 

I will admit that I am currently completely bedbug obsessed, however, this Pavilion sitch comes up on a weekly motherfucking basis via emails from all y'all, and other news stories around the blogosphere. And where there's smoke, there's usually fire.

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Bedbugs At Court Street Movie Theater? [HERRRRE WE GO AGAIN]

So, as you all know: I have vowed to never, ever, NEVER step foot in the Court Street movie theater again.

Thanks to an anon FIPS tipster, I've now got a reason that you all should do the same: BEDBUGS.

Yes, I admit, we are kinda bedbug obsessed around this bitch, but I can't help it...I am so very afraid. And shit like this doesn't help:

Hey,

So, this is going to be an awkward email, but I figured I should let somebody know what went down this weekend.

I've been avoiding movie theaters in Manhattan and Brooklyn for the past couple weeks since I heard about the theater in Times Square getting shut down due to bedbugs.  My friends made me feel totally crazy and my boyfriend eventually talked me into going to the UA Court Street in Carroll Gardens (is it?) Sunday night  to see a movie.  I tried to not be skeeved out and we got in a cab.

We were walking in to get our tickets, when some guy comes out going "Bedbugs! Don't go in there unless you want bedbugs!"  I figured it was some douchebag guy just trying to rile up the masses, but we went over to him to see whats up.  HE HAD A BEDBUG IN A BAG THAT HE FOUND IN THE THEATER.  He'd found it ON HIS SHIRT in Theater 11, and trapped it in a soda cup with a napkin (which were also in the plastic bag when he showed us).  And apparently when he complained to management, they said something about having had screened for them the day before.  Uhh.

This guy wasn't full of shit, after all.  I saw the fucking bedbug.  I did not see a movie.  You could not have gotten me out of there fast enough.

So, I'm bummed and also freaked out, but felt it's my moral obligation as a Park Slope citizen to let you know.

Gross.
-Anon

(PS. You better believe I did a full body scan as soon as I got home.  I'm fine).

Do with this information what you will, ppl.

Even "In Treatment" is Making Fun of Park Slope Breeders

In Treatment was on Garfield shooting yesterday. Woohoo!

Although craft services was parked near CT Muffin on 7th, I didn't have it in me to demand free food for my pashas. And I must admit even I (fine, especially me) was kind of excited to see the still sublime Gabriel Byrne on the corner of Polhemus as I walked by.

Accidentally. Well, the first time anyway. That was when I saw the cigarette hanging out of one of these dimpled little fake babies lips. But I didn't have a camera.

They look surprisingly lifelike, don't you think?

I think we should ALL get strollers and those who don't have/want any can keep one of these fake babies at home for when you need them to pacify your yearning mothers at family barbecues. 

Strollers are like rolling sherpas. You kid-frees don't know what you're missing! I saw a dude pushing his beer home the other day. He had other hanging bags too but the beer got the sweet spot on the seat. 

My friend Diana has it down to a science. Except, I notice, she forgot to lock it down! Beer endangerment.

Apostles of Park Slope: WTF is this?

Apostles of Park Slope is a new indie film that is getting some decent buzz—it just won the Audience Choice Award for Best Comedy at the Manhattan Film Festival, but from this trailer, I have no fucking idea what the hell this movie is about.  All I see is a gravelly-voiced priest, a handlebar moustache, exaggerated accents, goofy font choices, a fat guy named Tiny (hi-larious!). 

What do you think?

Bedbugs at the Pavilion. Again. And Again.

 We don't talk about bedbugs here for our health, people.  Despite our constant chatter about these adorable, cuddly houseguests, we actually have things we'd rather be writing about.  But guess what?  The fucking Pavilion apparently has them, so we're being forced to ruin your morning coffee yet again.  We're good at that.

The sort-of facts: There's rumor of another bedbug infestation at the Pavilion, as we suspected a while ago (they heartily denied it).  This time, both Brownstoner and Gothamist are reporting about this post from The Bedbug Registry:

A few days ago I was leaving the Theatre with my girlfriend at around 11:55 pm when I saw a bunch of men with large crates and hoses in the lobby, I asked what was going on and he said that Bed Bugs had been found in all of the older theatres with the Purple seats. Then I was at the Windsor Cafe Yesterday when I overheard some people saying that even more Bed Begs were found on the first floor of the building.

What the motherfuck, guys?  Can the Pavilion actually get any worse?  Can we learn enough of a lesson to stop having faith that the Pavilion is not actually the seventh layer of hell?  Is the Pavilion going to sue us for defamation?  Should I have put this shit into a pen name?  What the hell did this guy Zufishan mean when he said, "You can not hide from the loud in a plastic bag" in his Yelp review of this god forsaken place? THE QUESTIONS, WILL THEY EVER STOP?

But seriously.  Unless you're some sort of masochist, just stop going to this place until we get some sort of clear-cut answer about this sitch (not that we understand why you go there in the first place; you'd be better off throwing yourself in front of the F [but please don't do it during rush hour...again]).