3 Days: NOTORIOUS

Brooklynite of The Week: Notorious B.I.G.

(via Brooklyn Hall of Fame)

WARNING: The Tale of Despereaux is Absolutely Fucking Terrifying

Just got back from taking my 5 year old daughter to see The Tale of Desperaux at the Pavillion; Holy Fucking Shit – I need a drink and we both need counseling!

It was rated G of course, but I think The Motion Picture Association of America's Rating System must be staffed by psychotic fundamentalist Christians:

ANY movie that is animated seems to automatically be rated G, while any movie that mentions friggin evolution gets a PG-13.

Please someone make an animated movie about bong hits and teen sex so I can see what they rate it. Oh, wait.

Regardless, The Tale of Despereaux featured:

• Choking Death
• Wailing Mothers watching their children be led to execution
• Daughter sold into slavery
• Gladiator-style death
• Fully-grown hot blonde animated human female tied down to be eaten by rats in horrifying ceremony.
• Manic depression
• Scary fuckin bad guys

Fuck that shit!

Believe me, I saw Faces of Death 10 times when I was fifteen – I'm all for horror – but don't make the goddamn trailer make the movie look like Ratatouille II and give the shit a G rating.

Thanks a lot you fucktards - now I gotta sit up till 11pm with my terrified kid, readin' her Eloise. Can't even get laid on New Years Fuckin Eve??

Avoid.