Your FiPS Guide to Finding a Last-Minute Valentine's Day Date

I hesitate to mention that it’s almost Valentine’s Day, because, I know for most FiPS readers, it’s painful to talk about it still, to this day.  But if you’re still obsessing over the precise moment that love died for you the last time, maybe it’s time for you to crawl out of that dirty bathtub you've been sleeping in, put some clothes on, and try to find someone new to date. You can do this, lame-ass!

Since you’re used to dating people with borderline personality disorders, we’ve gone ahead  and done some legwork for you by turning to the most obvious place that anyone would look for a suitable candidate for your next just-aborted-at-the-last-possible-moment-before-it's-too-late-murder-suicide pact: Craigslist!

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Vomiting Pretty Woman, Your Prince Awaits [MISSED CONNECTIONS]

Image via www.classescasesandchaos.blogspot.com

Oh, Park Slope. In this cold, horrible world in which we live -- the one in which I contemplate kicking your strollers and you often consider shoving me off my bike in traffic, admit it -- sometimes you find the warm-fuzzy in situations. Especially situations involving vomit.

Just like this Craiglister, for instance:

m4w, 22, of Park Slope writes:

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FIPS CARES: Let's Find These 2 Sister Cats a Home!

A Park Slope couple moving out of the country is looking for a new home for their two young cats. If you're looking to adopt a few felines to make your apartment cheerful and free of mice, please reach out to them via this craigslist ad.

And before some of you get all, "These-people-sound-like-selfish-dicks-who-adopted-the-cats-and-now-won't-take-responsibility-for-them," know that this doesn't sound like an easy decision for this couple. Surely moving cats out of the country isn't an incredibly simple feat. 

Here's their post:

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Get Some Beer For Your Board Games!

This past weekend, a Park Sloper hosted a BBQ with TONS of beer. She must be nursing one hell of a hangover this week (either that, or she's a wine drinker), because she doesn't want ANY of the leftover brew from the party. In fact, she wants to share it with all of you. She doesn't want cash for it. That would be silly. But she does want your unwanted board games.

Via Craigslist, Katie has posted a request for Apples to Apples, Taboo, or any other board game in good condition, and in return will give you some of her post-BBQ beer. Kind of a strange request, but if you've got Life, Risk or Girl Talk just collecting dust in a closet somewhere, it's kind of a nice trade-off.

Here's what she's got stashed:

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