Growing up, your mother could scream and yell at you all day, and yet, "Wait until your father comes home" was the only effective threat she could actually come up with. Why? Because you knew damn well that your father would come home from another long, soul-crushing workday and not want to deal with whatever bratty tantrum you were having that was making your mother crazy that day.
He walked through the door, laid down the law, then scarfed down a late dinner while reading the newspaper. Within 30 minutes of getting home, he was passed out on the couch, snoring loudly over the evening news, while you were sitting up in your room, "thinking about what you've done."
Right now, if you take a moment to think about what you've done, all the grief you put your poor father though—the bad attitude, the drinking, the piercings, the phone calls from the principal, the pregnancy scare—you'd realize it's a miracle that your father didn't hang himself from the tree house he lovingly built for you well before you turned into an ungrateful teenager and an absent adult.
This year, it's time to get your father something that will help you atone for all of your douchey mistakes.
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Chinae | 
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