FIPS HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE DAY 2: BREEDERS

Every day for the next two weeks, Amanda, FIPS writer and creator the douchey gift blog You're Welcome will be providing you with gift suggestions that you can buy right here in Park Slope.  Today's edition is for Breeders and their bitch-ass kids.

Breeders in Park Slope have a bad reputation, mainly because of their inability to control their annoying, scooter-riding children, choosing to parent them with a general indifference to basic manners and volume levels.  But not ALL Breeders are bad.  Your parents are Breeders, right?  Okay, maybe that's not a good example.  The point: some Breeders are totally fine and cool and always down to drink because the pressures of raising a tiny person who reminds you of yourself, contradicts everything you say, and spends all of your money would drive anyone to hard alcohol.  This year, get your Breeder friends the following gifts, along with unlimited amounts of booze.     

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FIPS HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE DAY 1: BROOKLYN SNOBS

Every day for the next two weeks, Amanda, FIPS writer and creator the douchey gift blog You're Welcome will be providing you with gift suggestions that you can buy right here in Park Slope.  Today's edition is for those Brooklyn snob jerks that you know and love/hate. 

You know this guy.  He only goes into Manhattan for work.  He's broken up friendships because he refuses to meet up "in the city" on weekends.  He's a bona fide Brooklyn snob (wait, is that redundant?).  It's fine.  Embrace the self-righteous douchebaggery and help him celebrate his Brooklyn Pride with these gifts.

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GET READY, JERKS: THE FIPS HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE IS COMING

It's beginning to look a lot like the holidays, and for many of us, that means realizing in the few minutes prior to our flight take-off that we have not purchased a single goddamned gift for the people who love and care about us even though we are completely insufferable 99% of our waking hours.

GET IT TOGETHER.  Make 2011 the year that you surprise your friends, family, and that girl you've been sleeping with, with gifts that weren't purchased at the duty-free shop in the airport.

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