Brooklyn Cruisers: Vintage Inspired City Bikes

Ladies City Bike in TangerineLadies and gents: Got $500 to drop on a stylish, European-esque cruiser? I sure as shit don't, but if you do, consider a Brooklyn Cruiser.

They'll deliver anywhere in Manhattan (for $75), or you can test ride and purchase one at Park Slope's own 718 Cyclery on 7th Ave. 

Brooklyn Cruiser promises you'll be happy: Whether it's the super comfortable genuine leather saddle, the ergonomic cowhide grips, or the tried and true Sturmey Archer two speed hub, our stylish city bikes are built to last. After all, we designed these commuter bicycles for the streets of Brooklyn, so you know they're tough enough to withstand the rigors of urban life.    

Does it withstand all of Brooklyn's rigors? I'm still waiting for a bike equipped with a Go Go Gadget button that lets me jump over oncoming double-wide Bugaboos.

[ROUND-UP] Bike Lane Gift Guide

I knew the issue with the Prospect Park Bike Lane had reached epic proportions when my father called me to inform me of two things:

1. The Buffalo Evening News had reported on the shit that was going on with the the bike lane.

2. I must live in the stupidest goddamned neighborhood on the planet.

It's always nice to know that no matter how old you get, your parents, as long as their dialing fingers remain in tact, will always call you up and inform you how you're doing everything wrong.  I don't even care about the bike lane, but somehow I'm lumped into this douchey group of people that MUST have an opinion just via our proximity to the issue.

So, since everyone in this neighborhood HAS to be one one side of the yellow line on this issue, we've put together a Bike Lane Gift Guide for both sides.

Put on your helmets, dbags.

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Bikers Need to Suck My Entitled Pedestrian Balls

And now, a few words about Brooklyn's most obnoxious, whiniest Minority: Bikers. Brooklyn's Bikers are so preachy, they make my relentless Jewish grandmother seem like a dead mime. Our Bikers are so whiny that they make Al Sharpton '87 look like an Asian Stuyvesant student. Come on Brooklyn, how many times have you been witness to this scene:

You're walking down sunny 7th avenue, and all of the sudden, your ears get a trebly blast of spastic white-guy rage:

"What the FUCK, man??" 

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Park Slope needs A Lithuanian bike lane superhero

First the dismissed lawsuit and now THIS! 

It's every PPW bike lane supporter's wet dream: a government official literally mowing down a car illegally parked in the bicycle lane. The mayor of Lithuania's capital, Vilnius, used an armored vehicle to make an example of a Mercedes (of course!) blocking the bicycle path. Mayor Arturas Zuokas, a bicycle enthusiast and small town hero, was quoted in BBC News as saying, "That's what will happen if you park your car illegally."

The video, available on the Vilnus City website was filmed for Swedish TV series, 99 Things You Should Do Before You Die.

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NYC's Bicyclist Vigilante

Just about every other day FIPS has something insightful to say about the bike lane wars.  Local New Yorker Casey Neistat is also up in arms -- Not about the usual questionable need for bike lanes in certain areas, but for wrongfully getting ticketed for not riding in the bike lane.

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