Cool Brooklyn Bartender Alert: Lem of Flatbush Farm

Lem, the bartender at Flatbush Farm, plays the coolest music.  If that sounds a bit teenage and gushy, maybe it’s because his musical taste is not easy to define. Like the dark-haired boy who always sat in the back of the class in high school, I just know I likes it.  The music is a mix of everything from jazz to world music to guys who sound like they might be Ian Curtis’s older brother. When I stopped in to talk to Lem last Thursday, he was playing a dark swirl of moody-Englishman that reached out and enveloped me. It was a mellow tone that could have passed for a 1950’s cocktail lounge song that somehow did not make you immediately want to slit your wrists. Flatbush Farm has low lights, a gorgeous dark wood bar, organic beers and wines, slammin’ cocktails, plus delicious affordable bar food, so that doesn’t hurt either. 

Lem is a bit of a closed oyster -- a man who doesn't normally like to talk about himself -- so I was gratified when he agreed to have a chat.

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Timboo's Bar is Closing

Photo via Here's Park Slope

Here's Park Slope reports the news that Timboo's, a divey bar on 5th Ave and 11th Street, will be closing their doors as of December 31st. I've never been to Timboo's, so I'm turning to Yelp users to tell me if I should be happy/sad about this:

M.A. : A great non-dive dive. They haven't been labeled a dive yet, because most hipsters, the arbiters of taste of course, have yet to deem them such. Screw'em. Good, local folks run this bar and great people frequent the bar.

Carlos C: Old has-been dorkey (sic) locals. Dingy,dirty,laughing,hugging,sweaty,laughing annoyingly, old people and the random alcoholic who doesn't know what hit em. 

How does the news make you feel? Happy? Sad? Swimming in a sea of I-Don't-Give-A-Fuckery?

GQ Still Trying to Prove That They Know All About Brooklyn

Photo via GQ

The horrible parade of criminal injustices visited upon Brooklyn by GQ Magazine continues. First, they posted their Eaters Guide to Brooklyn, which was really more of a "Hot Restaurants Two Years Ago" list. I followed up with my own BK Eaters Guide, which you commenters happily chimed in on.  

And now, we have this. It's a nightlife guide!  And by "nightlife" they mean "bars and lodging." I don't know about you, but if I find a good bar, I don't need lodging that night.  You shouldn't, either.

That being said, here's my guide to drinking in Brooklyn.  

Pick a Bar with an Accelerated Buy-Back.  If you have more than four drinks at a bar on a regular basis (and, let's face it, you wouldn't have read this far if you didn't), you want to know whether your third or fourth drink (or ANY drink) is gonna be comped.  And if you're drinking someplace that doesn't give you a free drink after drink number 5...well, I feel sorry for you.  For me, Excelsior has always been consistent with buy backs--maybe because I'm gay and have a low-grade drinking problem.  If you fall into either of those categories, you should think about drinking there.

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[My Favorite Park Slope...]: Place To Drink After Getting Laid Off

Photo by Park Slope Lens

For over two years, I worked at a large ad agency located in the clusterfuck that is Midtown Manhattan. This past March I was laid off with a gaggle of other sorry-ass folks not good enough to cut it with the Draper, Sterling and Price's of the world. On the morning of my execution, I received a call from my boss that went like this:

Boss: Hi Kerri. Could you do me a favor?

Me: Sure thing.

Boss: Can you meet me upstairs in chat room 3H?

Me: Is that the one right by HR?

Boss: Yes.

Me: The one that you invite people to when firing them?

Boss: ...

Me: Is Mitch the HR guy with you right now?

Boss: ...

Me: I'll be right up. 

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Park Slope Residents Worried That Proposed Bar Will Ruin Our Children

Left photo via Save the Slope

Park Slope businessman Luis Cordero is invading quiet, residential, upstanding Sixth Avenue. He's intent on bringing ruin to children, families and church goers. How? By opening a motherfucking sports bar. At least that’s what the residents trying to stop Cordero from opening this bar are claiming. Here are some choice quotes from The Brooklyn Paper from such protesters: 

“Do we want our kids to see this when they come out of day care?”

“We see what alcohol does to individuals and families... Now it’s dividing this community”

“A bar here would be a real aberration and a lot of lives would be affected.”

 And, my favorite: “This is a place to get drunk while eating chicken wings.”

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