Who Gives a Shit: Will You Feed Your Babies "Farm to Baby" Food?

Image via change.org

Want to feel even MORE like a peasant when you take your baby to the park sans Bugaboo?

Because now you're going to have to explain to other Slope parents why your little Aldous is eating normal Gerber baby nosh from Key Food, and not shit straight from a farm. 

Yes, the farm to table foodie craze is now coming to a diaper near you. Farm to Baby, a new company based in Greenpoint, makes and delivers fresh baby food, sourced from local farms. Now, I like the idea of supporting local farmers, and small businesses. I am totally behind the concept of eating fresh foods that are unprocessed, so naturally, feeding your baby that stuff makes sense too.

BUT this seems excessive. 

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The Inevitable Tumblr: Babies with iPads

Photo via http://babieswithipads.tumblr.com/

With only a few exceptions, I fucking love technology. I may be the Amish’s Anti-Christ. While some people yearn for yesterday, I get sad thinking about how I won’t live to see the cool shit of today become even more awesome in the future. I’m a child of Star Trek, not Blade Runner.

It should come as no surprise, then, that I think Babies with iPads is fucking awesome. I grew up across the street from Prospect Park, but thanks to my VCR and NES, I barely spent time there. If I had an iPad back then, I don’t think I would have ever seen the inside of the park*. And I’m totally ok with that.

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GIVE ME A BABYCCINO OR I'LL SUSPEND YOUR ASS FROM THE COOP

Photo via www.sprudge.com

Me: "I'm taking this for FIPS. It will be short and sweet and someone may die."

Kerri, FIPS Managing Ed: "The New Yorker was right: our neighborhood IS dying..."

Seriously, I'm not usually the one who's like, "Fuck yer babies!" becuase, like, one day I'm going to be one of those pain-in-the-ass parents who only keeps organic kale and locally-made seitan in her house, depriving her offspring of authentic world experience while flying a vegan flag above my brownstone. So, as someone with a Bugaboo in her future, I get it.

But like, fuck yer babies this time.

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We're All Fucked: Babies Are Officially Taking Over Park Slope

Photo via Flickr User hollymoody

Time to strap on your diapers, people, because babies and kids wear the pants in this nabe. Just when we thought Park Slope couldn’t get any more baby-centric, we catch wind that beloved music venue Southpaw will be taken over by a company called New York City Kids. The replacement venue will become a haven to Park Slope’s rock climbing, book-reading and needing ankle biters. 

Via The Brooklyn Paper:

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Babies Today Can See Straight Through Your Bullshit

Einstein Baby

A recent study done in some lab at a testing facility somewhere on this planet proves that babies fooled into buying your bullshit once will not make that mistake a second time.

60 babies between the ages of 13-16 months were divided into two groups and paired with some grown-ups. In Group A, an adult excitedly peered into a box. When the baby did the same into their own box, they found a toy. In Group B, the babies also followed an adult's lead to gleefully peer into a box, but their boxes were empty. 

In the next round of "Mean Things to Do to Babies", the adults used their foreheads to turn on a push-light (I KNOW). Babies from Group A mimicked the adults, also turning the light on with their foreheads. Most of the babies from Group B, however, saw right through the bullshit per the previous round, and didn't follow suit.

So there you have it. You can lead a baby to water, but you can't always make it look as dumb as you. 

[Gawker, via Livescience]