[My Favorite Park Slope...]: Place to Party and Peep Free Art

If you're having "one of those weeks" this week -- the one where you have to go to the TD Bank Penny Arcade to cash in all of your loose change to get beer money -- you might be looking for something to do this weekend that's super cheap but still really fun. This FIPS post is your official reminder that Saturday, November 5th, is the First Saturday party at the Brooklyn Museum.

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Finally, an Eater's Guide We Can Get Behind!

Photo via thislittlepiglet.blogspot.com

Remember when GQ Magazine took a big steaming crap on our dear borough with their "Eater's Guide to Brooklyn?" Yeah. I'm trying to put it out of my mind, too. Well, here's something good to help you forget!

Carey Jones is the New York editor for Serious Eats and she's put together a neighborhood food guide for the North Slope and Prospect Heights, where she lives.  Jones does just about everything right with her guide, if you ask me.

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GQ Still Trying to Prove That They Know All About Brooklyn

Photo via GQ

The horrible parade of criminal injustices visited upon Brooklyn by GQ Magazine continues. First, they posted their Eaters Guide to Brooklyn, which was really more of a "Hot Restaurants Two Years Ago" list. I followed up with my own BK Eaters Guide, which you commenters happily chimed in on.  

And now, we have this. It's a nightlife guide!  And by "nightlife" they mean "bars and lodging." I don't know about you, but if I find a good bar, I don't need lodging that night.  You shouldn't, either.

That being said, here's my guide to drinking in Brooklyn.  

Pick a Bar with an Accelerated Buy-Back.  If you have more than four drinks at a bar on a regular basis (and, let's face it, you wouldn't have read this far if you didn't), you want to know whether your third or fourth drink (or ANY drink) is gonna be comped.  And if you're drinking someplace that doesn't give you a free drink after drink number 5...well, I feel sorry for you.  For me, Excelsior has always been consistent with buy backs--maybe because I'm gay and have a low-grade drinking problem.  If you fall into either of those categories, you should think about drinking there.

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Top Ten Reasons GQ Magazine's Eater's Guide to Brooklyn is Horse Shit

From GQ.com

Full disclosure: I haven't picked up an issue of GQ since the mid 80's. I don't really know what kind of douchebag lifestyle angle they're working these days (does every third page still reek of Drakkar Noir?), but they completely screwed the pooch with their Eater's Guide to Brooklyn. They do acknowledge that Brooklyn is the coolest city on the planet (FUCK YOU Amsterdam! Snap!), but as a food guide, this shit blows. So here, for your personal edification, are my Top Ten Reasons GQ Magazine's Eater's Guide to Brooklyn is Horse Shit.

10. Obligatory Mention of Roberta's in Bushwick.  It is official: Roberta's is completely overexposed.  Just once, I'd like to see someone write something up about food in Brooklyn without crapping their pants over the hipster doofus wood-fired pizzas at Roberta's. I don't care how good the pizza is, because it's still not Di Fara.

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A FiPS Guide For Avoiding Death or Dismemberment on the Subway

Photo via i35south.net/

One of the reasons I'm so damned fat is that I need to take in a lot of calories in order to ensure that I won't have a low blood sugar moment while riding the subway. If I don't eat a shit ton of food all the time, there's a risk that I could become exceedingly cranky on the F train and start an altercation with a knife-wielding lunatic.  Or, even worse, I might become dizzy and disoriented and could fall onto the tracks, just as the train is approaching.

Both scenarios are completely terrifying. Fortunately, Reddit posted an interview with a subway conductor, and they asked EXACTLY the right questions that enable to me to restrict my caloric intake, safely. 

Q: What's the best way to a) get help if someone is sick or being attacked and b) when DO you pull the emergency brake? 

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