Whassup: Sunny Days Edition

 Sunny's Returns (via kickstarter)

Amidst the recent closures of old Slope-area bars Jackie's 5th and Bar 4, we got some good news this week: Sandy-savaged Red Hook institution Sunny's will return Aug. 29! This is a valiant story of online crowdfunding campaigns and the people's love of inebriation. The kind of things that made this country great. Give a big, old, happy "Fuck You, Hurricane Sandy!" and head on over to Red Hook at the end of the month. Until then, say fuck you to whatever else is bringing you down. Welcome to Whassup: Sunny Days Edition:

 * Thursday, Aug. 22: LAST 'Drinks to Die For,' Green-Wood Cemetery: Everything dies, that's a fact: including Green-Wood Cemetary's summer happy hours. Catch the last one of the season today, with beers from Brooklyn Brewery, alongside live music, all amidst the final resting places of Leonard Bernstein, Boss Tweed and other super fun (but super dead) party guests. 6pm-8pm, FREE (but drink tix are $5). 

* Friday, Aug. 23-Saturday, Aug. 24: Dick Pic Art, Morgan Studios (Bushwick): Officially, this is part of "EXPLICIT," a "two-day engagement [that] will explore the boundaries of pornography, voyeurism, sexual predation and intimacy." But forget all that artist's-statement-ese; as Brooklyn Mag writes, the most important part of this show is clearly "Show Me More: A Collection of Dick Pix." So yeah, good job, Bushwick: You've managed to make the entire Carlos Weiner thing even more ridiculous. Because it is now art. Also, the whole EXPLICIT opening party will apparently be "pants optional." In other words, Bushwick is hosting a real-life version of what your innocent old grandmother fears you're doing in New York. An epistolary novel of sexts should hit the bookshelves any day now. Opens Friday at 8 pm.

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Whassup: I Heart Darkness Edition

I like my coffee like I like my soul... (via deviantart.net)

Yesterday was the 10-year anniversary of the blackout, which temporarily sunk NY into something resembling a natural nighttime. I wasn't here at the time, but, like, could you see the stars and stuff? Weird. That must have been terrifying. Well, the lights are on now, in all of our scarily expensive apartments, and the only pure darkness to be found is that of our cynical, NY souls. And that of the black-out drunks with which we dull the stress. Indulge in both varieties of darkness with this week's Whassup: I Heart Darkness Edition: 

* Thursday, Aug. 15: "Rocky," BK Bridge Park: Without this film, Sylvester Stallone might still be making porn flicks. So, thank god "Rocky" was an instant-classic. You know the story: punching, montage, "Adrian!", MONTAGE, steps, punching, FUCKING MONTAGE!!! With the gorgeous vista of Lower Manhattan from the park, it's a great way to see a movie. 6pm, FREE. 

* Friday, Aug. 16: TIX ONSALE: Deervana, Brooklyn Bowl (Williamsburg): Deer Tick, in their sometimes guise as "Deervana," will play Nirvana's classic "In Utero" in its entirety, celebrating the album's 20th anniversary. If this seems random to you, a couple things: 1) Deer Tick does a great Nirvana because singer John McCauley has an eerily Cobain-esque scratchy, strained voice and 2) Deer Tick is a pretty great brand in its own right. Perhaps, like me, you will attend a Deervana showing, and get into Deer Tick's own stuff thereafter. I highly recommend doing this. The show is Friday, Sept. 13, precisely two decades after the release of "In Utero," the grittier, punkier follow-up to the album that birthed the '90's in all its grungy, slacker glory ("Nevermind," duh). Tix on sale 12pm, $25.

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Whassup: Last BRIC in the Summer Edition

via theymightbegiants.com

It's a week of lasts, y'all. Celebrate Brooklyn hosts the last shows of its summer season in the park this week (see below). And Bar 4 hosts the last of its shows forever (SEE BELOW). Do you see how nothing lasts?! Do you see how you can't just put it off 'til next week!? Go that show! Eat at that restaurant! Seize the moment, don't end up like this guy! Okay, pep talk over. Welcome to Whassup: Last BRIC in the Summer Edition:

* OPEN NOW: Pavilion Living Room Cafe: Over the years, FiPS has had, ahem, a few things to say about the Pavilion movie theater. But here's a positive: this month, the movie theater opened the "Living Room Cafe," which is apparently a reincarnation of a cafe in that same space from some years ago. Anyway, it's a step up in movie fare from the usual oily popcorn and sticky Mike and Hots or whatever. The menu boasts milkshakes, sandwiches and crepes, most under ten bucks. 

* Thursday, Aug. 8: Cringe, Freddy's: After a two-month absence, Freddy's original, brilliant series of mortifying teenage scribblings returns. Come cry/laugh with joy/terror. 7:30pm-9:30pm, FREE.

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Whassup: August and Nothing After Edition

 

Aaaand, now it's August. You (or I, anyway) spend the whole winter pining for summer, and then it comes, and then it's fucking August pretty much immediately. What the hell, inexorable passage of time?! What did we ever do to you?? Whenever that calendar flips to the last month before we find out who our homeroom teacher is for the next year, I get this anxious feeling: the end of freedom, bad weather coming, death, decay, it's all over too soon, ohmygodfluseason. Please allow me to impart my neurosis to you, so that it may motivate you to squeeze the last bits of summertime joy from 2013. Go out there and do this thing, Park Slope! Welcome to Whassup: August and Nothing After Edition:  

* Until Aug. 15: Bar 4's Last: Over at Bar 4's Facebook page, they're announcing the "last" of every of their regular events before the place closes Aug. 15. Which is sad, but helpful if you want to catch some of these shows before they retire forever or move to Littlefield or the Tea Lounge or whatever. Also, a good way to check out everything that's going on in Bar 4's last days, be it a formerly regular event or not. Prime place is the Local Correspondents singer/songwriter fest from Aug. 9-12, culminating in the last Bar 4 open mic, Aug. 13. One thing that will probably be going on: getting so drunk that you cry all over the bar. So, just the same as always, but now with a better reason. 

* Friday, Aug. 2: Story Collider Takes Manhattan, Rockefeller University: Park Slope's favorite storytelling/science mashup hits the Big City! The Large Apple! King Kong's Playground! Doucheville! The Land of a Million Starbucks! That's right, Story Collider, popular denizen of Union Hall, will be taking it's science-related narratives to The Rockefeller University. There, they will also, I would assume, try to hit up the family for some philanthropy. Stories will feature real-life Rockefeller students and faculty, along with a special guest science journalist who will recite all his favorite digits of pi. 7pm-9pm, $10.

* Sunday, August 4: Beck, Bandshell: Well, for shit's fuck's sake: the fucking Beck. There is absolutely nothing I could say to convince you to want to see a Beck concert if you don't already desire it passionately. This benefit concert is, unsurprisingly, sold out. But you know the drill by now: just hang out outside the fence and listen to the wondrousness. You may even be able to glimpse some of the stage action through the fence slats and mobs of other music moochers. 7pm, FREE (if you do the aforementioned).

* Tuesday, August 6: Punderdome 3000, Littlefield: Don't worry, they always come home. After experimenting with life in SoHo last month, Punderdome returns its raucous amateur punsters to the Slope area. Come shout about how much you love bad jokes. 8pm, $6-7. 

* August: Rooftop Camping: You know what? Fuck nature. Fuck some mooses and the mosquitoes and the tree pollen and the vast distance between you and a Thai restaurant in the fucking wilderness. But you know what else? Don't fuck camping. Camping! You get to sleep on a hard surface and make gross, sweaty sex that everyone can hear! Camping! It's in tents! So, to get the best of both worlds, you can take advantage of Bivouac New York. Aside from containing I word I still don't know how to pronounce, Bivouac New York also hosts camping parties on NY (and other cities') rooftops. Tents, morning coffee, a toilet and "friends" are provided. Well, probably bring some of your own friends. But there will be new ones. And probably creepy ghost stories. And, while you may not get ticks or bumble through a patch of poison ivy, you can always try your luck at a new venereal disease. In tents! 

COMING UP:

* Tuesday, Aug. 27: Kurt Braunohler Record Release, Bell House: There is, by now, a pretty standard "big Park Slope comedy show" lineup. Eugene Mirman is there, and likely organizing the thing. Todd Barry often shows up, to please those of us with the best comedy taste (sorrynotsorry). Hannibal Buress is a decent bet. Kristen Schaal once upon a time, before she took wing for Los Angeles -- though she's still back for some of these. And Kurt Braunohler, who is the guest of honor this time. Another thing that's pretty much to be expected is that these shows sell out. So, get on that ticket purchasing jag, y'all. 8pm, $15.

Whassup: Bar None Edition

via localbozo.comIt may never make it onto a list like this ( although Southpaw did, so you never know), but Bar 4's upcoming closure should still inspire its share of sadness. Yesterday, the neighborhoodly little bar with the tiny stage and tremendous open-mic night announced it would be turning the rock sounds off on Aug. 15. Park Slope, Brooklyn and NYC at large just continue to change, and there continue to be casualties along the way. Bar 4 opened in 1999, when South Slope was far from the main site of Slope gentrification. (It was also a good year for the Indonesian restaurant diagonal from Bar 4, apparently, which continues to display the recognition it received from Time Out in '99.) Before the 4 shutters, take advantage and see a show: Coming up is the open mic night (Tuesday), which has a stellar rep among musicians, or Motherfucking Bingo (on Wednesday), which has a swear word in the title. Or just come suck back a cheap(ish) beer. Welcome to Whassup: Bar None Edition:

* Friday, July 26: Sexy Summer Friday, Babeland: What's an overworked, over-ambitious New Yorker to do when an astonishing dollop of FREE TIME arrives in the form of summer Fridays? Like, relax? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THAT?? Alcohol and sex toys are a good start, which is why Babeland's summer Fridays happy hour is just what your constricted sphincter needs. 3pm-5pm, FREE. 

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