Whassup: Sunny Days Edition

 Sunny's Returns (via kickstarter)

Amidst the recent closures of old Slope-area bars Jackie's 5th and Bar 4, we got some good news this week: Sandy-savaged Red Hook institution Sunny's will return Aug. 29! This is a valiant story of online crowdfunding campaigns and the people's love of inebriation. The kind of things that made this country great. Give a big, old, happy "Fuck You, Hurricane Sandy!" and head on over to Red Hook at the end of the month. Until then, say fuck you to whatever else is bringing you down. Welcome to Whassup: Sunny Days Edition:

 * Thursday, Aug. 22: LAST 'Drinks to Die For,' Green-Wood Cemetery: Everything dies, that's a fact: including Green-Wood Cemetary's summer happy hours. Catch the last one of the season today, with beers from Brooklyn Brewery, alongside live music, all amidst the final resting places of Leonard Bernstein, Boss Tweed and other super fun (but super dead) party guests. 6pm-8pm, FREE (but drink tix are $5). 

* Friday, Aug. 23-Saturday, Aug. 24: Dick Pic Art, Morgan Studios (Bushwick): Officially, this is part of "EXPLICIT," a "two-day engagement [that] will explore the boundaries of pornography, voyeurism, sexual predation and intimacy." But forget all that artist's-statement-ese; as Brooklyn Mag writes, the most important part of this show is clearly "Show Me More: A Collection of Dick Pix." So yeah, good job, Bushwick: You've managed to make the entire Carlos Weiner thing even more ridiculous. Because it is now art. Also, the whole EXPLICIT opening party will apparently be "pants optional." In other words, Bushwick is hosting a real-life version of what your innocent old grandmother fears you're doing in New York. An epistolary novel of sexts should hit the bookshelves any day now. Opens Friday at 8 pm.

* Friday, Aug. 23-Sunday, Aug. 25: Big Bike Sale, Ride Brooklyn: Summer is bike season, despite how grossly sweaty you get pedalling June through August in NYC. That means the two-wheeled terrorizers of pedestrians go on sale about now, like bulk candy the day after Halloween. But, the jokes on capitalism, because bikes are actually way more fun in fall: there are leaves to crunch over, your armpits won't become swamps, and you'll need to get your legs in shape for Thanksgiving touch-football anyway. So, take advantage of Ride Brooklyn's sale, offering up to 30 percent off 2013 commuter bikes and up to 40 percent off road bikes. Clothing is up to half off (hey-oh!). Now, start perfecting sick wheelies. Hours: 10am-7pm Fri, 10am-6pm Sat, 11am-6pm Sun.

* Saturday, Aug. 24: Mini-Zine Fest, Pete's (Williamsburg): Hey -- zines! Remember zines?! Well, probably, if you're interested in this event, it's not so much that you remember zines' first go-around, but that you're young and hip enough to be into their retro-resurgence (of sorts). Fine. As long as kids are still pasting things onto other things and being all punk about it, then my youth is not gone forever. Thanks, kids. You can meet people putting together zines in Brooklyn's zine scene and partake of the homemade goods. 2pm-7pm, FREE.

* Saturday, Aug. 24-Sunday, Aug. 25: Afropunk Fest, Commodore Barry Park (Fort Greene): This remarkably eclectic festival fills up two stages with New Orleans bounce from Big Freedia, old-school hip hop from Chuck D and Questlove, the 25th anniversary performance by Living Colour, and a bunch of younger, hungrier acts ready to be discovered by your ears and booty. Also a BMX show, skate park and 26 choices from the now-ubiquitous Brooklyn food truck armada. 12pm-9:30pm each day, FREE (RSVP on the site, or pay $25 for a "fast pass").

* Sunday, Aug. 25: Bollywood Disco, Littlefield: This is the first Brooklyn edition of the 10-year-old Bollywood Disco Party. Essentially, it's a movie and a (real long) dance. They'll be screening the '70s Bollywood classic "Don," followed by hours and hours of deejayed Bollywood dance tracks. You will move your neck side-to-side so damn much. 2pm, $5-10. 

* Sunday, Aug. 25: I Wanted My MTV, Last Exit (Cobble Hill): The MTV Video Music Awards, as you likely know, will be broadcasting their pageant of douchery from our very own temple of doucheosity, the Barclays Center. If you're not going there (you're not going there, are you?), there's this: a nostalgia party for the days of actual music videos on the network named after them -- ridiculous music videos with random splashes of neon color and wolves running through castles. The night will feature classic music videos, old-school MTV games like REMOTE CONTROL, and, of course, a Justin Bieber dart board. 7pm, FREE.

* Tuesday, Aug. 27: Tell the Bartender, Union Hall: ANOTHER storytelling show in Park Slope. What sets this one apart? A cool name that is both retro (images of the old barkeep listening to sob stories while some piano man sings about himself in the corner) and current (the Moth and its ilk have made storytelling a cool, adult thing that happens in cool, adult places like this cool, adult bar). Katharine Heller, a veteran Brooklyn bartender, hosts -- giving the whole thing a boozy halo of authenticity. Flinging stories will be "Argo" actor Tate Donovan, comedian Leslie Meisel, and Onion News Network's Matty Blake. 8pm, $10.

COMING UP: 

* Sept. 26-29: Eugene Mirman Comedy Festiva, Bell House and Union Halll: This weekend, the lineup for September's Mirman Parade (can't believe I didn't think of that until now) was announced: As expected, Park Slope's reigning king of comedy that 20-and-30-somethings like has pulled the big names that 20-and-30-somethings like: H. Jon Benjamin, Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler reuniting for another Hot Tub edition, a new StarTalk Live! with America's nerd champion Neil deGrasse Tyson, and a shit-hell more. Tickets ON SALE NOW, so snap them up before it all sells out, as it will.