Brooklyn Beckham Will Kick Bronx Mowgli's Ass

So, obvs everyone who's anyone is talking about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's new bebe Bronx (Bronx MOWGLI WENTZ, ICYDK).

I, however, say Fuck Bronx. The dude is less than a week old and I already know that I don't like him. Like not even a little bit.

Bronx = l00zer.

In fact, I'd like to take this opp to flip the script entirely and instead give a shoutout to a WAY cooler/more interesting/inevitably hotter/potentially (though no promises) less annoying celeb-u-tot: BROOKLYN BECKHAM.

That's right. BROOKLYN IN DA HOUSE, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!

Brooklyn Beckham is where its at. He's the dude you should be peeping.

Here's what you should know about David Beckham's mini-me, BK's own original son:

*He was named Brooklyn because he was conceived in this fine ass borough.
*He will DEFINITELY be v. hot.
*He digs break dancing and basketball.
*He could kick Bronx Mowgli's ass.
*Oh, and he wrote a Secret Diary.

R U Facebook Friends w/PSlope?

So check this out: earlier this month, the New York Times wrote an article about the Facebook group "Thirty something and grew up in Park Slope."

a. This is why I love Facebook.
b. Not to get all self congratulatory on day fucking two, but this *totally* proves my Paris Hilton point about Park Slope.

People c-a-n-n-o-t stop talking about it.

Currently at 815 members (!), the article details the group's attempts at capturing the nostalgia of this innocent time in BK's history with charming slice of life anecdotes like this one: "the great break dancing battle (took place) in the playground of Public School 321 between Alfie, a black kid with relaxed hair and a Michael Jackson jacket, and Adam, a white kid who supposedly got his eyebrows singed when Alfie lit a piece of highly flammable paper for pyrotechnic effects."

There's a "whatever happened to" thread (where R U Seyin Cubucku??), some cool photos from back in the day and a few vids.

Uhm...ok.

While Alfie does, admittedly, sound like a total fucking rock star, mostly I'm just utterly fascinated by the fact that the NYT wrote this story in the first place. I mean, there is *literally* no story here...except, that, [yet again] Park Slope rules and whatever stupid town you're from sux.

Am I missing something?

No wonder everyone hates the shit out of us.

Anyway.

As a selfless gift to everyone else who has a hard on for Park Slope, I did some research and unearthed a number of other Facebook groups that might grease ur wheels:

*PARK FUCKING SLOPE (1,186 members)
*Park Slope is Dead (24 members)
*New Park Slope Ladies Funtime Goodtimes Group (8 members)
*You Know You're From Park Slope When... (426 members)
*Park Slope Ultimate Frisbee League (PSUFL) (54 members)
*The Inevitable Damnation of Park Slope (25 members)
*Ive (sic) Burned in Park Slope dis Summer (17 members)
*I Am Suspended from The Park Slope Food Coop (7 members)
*Get the NY Times To Shut Up About Park Slope Already (4 members)
*Dem Slope Boyz (a Park Slope Frat!!!) (request to join)

Right.

So, I guess I'll see all your asses in 20 yrs in the "yuppie wannabe douchetards who lived in da slope in oh to the 8" group (email me if you want admin privileges).

I Don't Hate This Girl At All

(click image to enlarge)

Top Model Naima Works @Cocoa Bar (Yep)

I have not watched America's Next Top Model in what feels like decades, but I totally remember Naima from cycle 4 cause she seemed like a sweet/cool /punk rock/Emo supermodel. And I really dug her short haircut.

And according to the well informed posse on the DailySlope.com forum, she now works at Cocoa Bar on 7th Avenue.

(Brooklynian)

Adrian Grenier Joins Food Co-op?

I'm so lazy, even *this* isn't enough to get me to join the fucking PS Food Co-op (second item).