Brooklyn Beckham Will Kick Bronx Mowgli's Ass

So, obvs everyone who's anyone is talking about Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's new bebe Bronx (Bronx MOWGLI WENTZ, ICYDK).

I, however, say Fuck Bronx. The dude is less than a week old and I already know that I don't like him. Like not even a little bit.

Bronx = l00zer.

In fact, I'd like to take this opp to flip the script entirely and instead give a shoutout to a WAY cooler/more interesting/inevitably hotter/potentially (though no promises) less annoying celeb-u-tot: BROOKLYN BECKHAM.

That's right. BROOKLYN IN DA HOUSE, BITCHES!!!!!!!!!

Brooklyn Beckham is where its at. He's the dude you should be peeping.

Here's what you should know about David Beckham's mini-me, BK's own original son:

*He was named Brooklyn because he was conceived in this fine ass borough.
*He will DEFINITELY be v. hot.
*He digs break dancing and basketball.
*He could kick Bronx Mowgli's ass.
*Oh, and he wrote a Secret Diary.