IT REALLY SNOWED, YOU GUYS!

Nemo happened!

So, hurry up and go outside and look at the snow before my dog pisses and shits all over it, and trucks drive over it, and it goes from pure white driven, to black dirty sludge. By my guestimate, you have approximately 28 minutes. 

Got any more Park Slope snow pics? Send em our way at effedinparkslope@gmail.com

[More pics after the jump]. 

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Winter Storm Athena Has Landed

Via The Weather Channel

Holy shit, is it miserable outside right now. Winter Autumn storm Athena has officially dropped in on us, and she is blistery, cold and UTTERLY UNPLEASANT. In addition, she's adding insult to injury for everyone affected by the wrath of Sandy.

Via NBCDFW:

"Thousands of people in low-lying neighborhoods staggered by the superstorm just over a week ago were warned to clear out, with authorities saying rain, wet snow and 60 mph gusts in the evening could bring more flooding, topple trees wrenched loose by Sandy, and erase some of the hard-won progress made in restoring electricity to millions of customers."

If you can stay inside tonight, please do. And in case you were planning on trying to sled/skate/write poetry in a local snow-covered park, all of New York's public parks, playgrounds and beaches will also be closed until noon on Thursday. In addition, all public construction has been halted until 7AM on Thursday. 

SPECIAL HURRICANE IRENE RATE AT HOTEL LE BLEU: $999/NIGHT

Apparently Hotel Le Bleu has a message for any of you out there who need to evacuate and are looking for a place to stay in Brooklyn to ride out Hurricane Irene: WE WILL TAKE YOU FOR EVERY PENNY YOU'VE GOT.

Foreign Dude sent along this Facebook convo which outlines the fact that Le Blah is apparently charging $999 per night. It's unclear whether this is for a room with a view of the Taxi Garage on 4th Ave, or the parking lot behind the hotel, but in either case: WHAT THE FUCK!?

Here's proof:

HURRICANE IRENE INFO-N-SHIT

OK, btchz: this hurricane Irene shit is gettin' serious, and there's information flyin' fast and furious. So we're going to keep this post chillin at the top of the queue until:

a. it's safe to move on back to making fun of bebes and the Coop.

b. we're all dead

We'll try to post the latest info as it comes in here, and the whole FIPS crew might pop in from time to time to liveblog this insanity.

+ MTA Shutdown!

Yeah, we know it barely works on days there aren't hurricanes, but this time it's not going to work for REAL. The MTA is shuttin itself down starting around noon on Sat (via Gothamist). If things get really bad, they might even shut down bridges and tunnels too. Translation: shit is gettin' really real.

+ Are you in a flood zone??

Check here to see what zone you're in. Park Slope is mostly NOT in a flood zone, however, if you're down near 3rd/4th Aves (and 5th aves in some spots), there's a strip of Park Slope that falls into Zone C. C seems to be the best of the zones to be in (if you've GOT to be in a flood zone), but still there's: "Potental flooding from a Category 3-4 hurricane hitting just south of NYC." Large swaths of Gowanus are in either Zone B: "Potental flooding from a Category 2+ hurricane" or Zone A. Here's the thing with Zone A, ppl: YOU GOTS TO EVACUATE. LIKE NOW ("Mandatory evacuation ordered by mayor"). Well, you actually have till 5pm tomorrow, but if you wait till then, that's kinda dumb. NYC Starts Mandatory Evacuation of All Zone A New Yorkers (via Gothamist).

+ What to expect when you're expecting a hurricane?

What should you buy? Do you need to fill up your tub with water? All these questions and more are answered in Daily Intel's roundup.

+ If you gots to evacuate, you're allowed to bring your pets on the subz!

Seriously! Now remember that the MTA is shuttin her all down tomorrow at 12pm, but if you're using public transportation to get somewhere before that, you're allowed to bring your dogs and cats and gerbils-n-shit on the subway! Evacuating with Pets (via Gothamist).

+ Where the fuck is Hurricane Irene RIGHT NOW?

You can track her ass with this google live map of the storm's track.

Got any more scoop? Leave it in the comments...

Your FiPS Guide To Hurricane Irene

Hey, New York: Your mean Aunt Hurricane Irene with the sour tuna breath is packing up her floral suitcase and making her way from a cabana in the Bahamas to come visit you in NYC on Sunday. She'll probably want to go to Times Square, where she'll take lots of pictures and complain that "them immigrants are trying to steal my goddamned fannypack." This is going to suck. But fear not, kids: Your Uncle Bloomberg, who's still bitter over the divorce and resulting settlement in which he lost all his money, wants to make this awful experience as painless as possible:

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