Need to Donate Post-Irene Supplies?

Are you staring at a bathtub full of Sloppy Joe cans, batteries and a 40 lb bag of Purina Moist & Meaty? If you have a load of leftover storm supplies to get off your back, consider donating that shit!

Brokelyn has kindly made a list of places that will take your leftover goods, although they didn't mention where I can donate my leftover bottles of emergency wine and vodka.

Who am I kidding? Post hurricane survival party, anyone? 

What You Should Do if the Power Goes Out: Brought to You by ConEd

Because of the hurricane, all of the gas and power companies are sending out emails telling everyone really valuable information like "Stay clear of downed power lines."  Thanks for letting me know, I thought downed power lines were the safest places to be in times of trouble. 

The above graphic is an actual email that ConEd sent out, but forget about the ridiculous tips.  My main issue is the photo of the woman telling us to stay safe.  Look at this bitch's face.  She could CARE LESS.  If you looked up "apathetic" in the dictionary, you'd find this lady, her hands thrown up in the air, being like "If y'all die, I don't really give a fuck."  Get a picture of an uptight white woman pulling out her hair and yelling at her children to BE QUIET so she can watch the news, or an Asian dude staring out intently from his nerd glasses trying to convey the gravity of the situation.

Whatever, everyone.  Here's what ConEd should have sent out, because honestly, if we lose power today, this is the shit that's really gonna go down, and it has nothing to do with downed power lines and battery-operated radios.

For more updates from her own personal Hurrication, follow Amanda on Twitter @AmandaWaas.

HURRICANE PLAYLIST

Everyone knows that a good party can't get started without an absolutely excellent playlist.  And if you're like me and have a terrible, shameful iTunes library, you'd rather drink a pint glass full of bleach than risk the humiliation that would come from putting your iPod on shuffle and having the Aladdin Soundtrack or Melissa Etheridge come on. 

Because then you'll be forced to defend the honor of "Come to My Window" and no one should ever have to do that.

So, I've assembled a hurricane playlist that will keep you rocking as you're shut up in your apartment, eating a bag of Hurricane Doritos and drinking a bottle of Hurricane Mountain Dew with your Hurricane Girlfriend.

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Your FiPS Guide To Hurricane Irene

Hey, New York: Your mean Aunt Hurricane Irene with the sour tuna breath is packing up her floral suitcase and making her way from a cabana in the Bahamas to come visit you in NYC on Sunday. She'll probably want to go to Times Square, where she'll take lots of pictures and complain that "them immigrants are trying to steal my goddamned fannypack." This is going to suck. But fear not, kids: Your Uncle Bloomberg, who's still bitter over the divorce and resulting settlement in which he lost all his money, wants to make this awful experience as painless as possible:

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