The FIPS guide to NOT getting sexually assaulted

It's late and you've had your fair share of drinks at High Dive. Now it's time to get home. Here's the FIPS guide to NOT getting sexually assaulted as you mosey down the treacherous streets of the Slope.

* First, make sure you're not wearing a short skirt. Just kidding, we don't slut shame around here.

* For God's sake, put the earbuds away. Don't you know there's been 14 sexual attacks since March?

* Check to make sure you're not low on pepper spray. NYC has specific rules about self-defense sprays. Pick some up from a licensed dealer, like Neergaard Pharmacies.

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14th Sexual Attack Since March: WTF

Last night around 10PM a woman in her 20's was walking her dog on 17th street near 7th avenue when she was approached from behind. The man claimed her had a knife and then forcefully groped her. As it has been the case with nearly every other attack, she screamed and he fled. It's pretty fucking scary to think that these pervs won't hesitate to attack a woman walking a large dog -- the victim owns a German shepherd mix.

In related news, Adolpho Martinez, who was arrested on Wednesday in the Monday attack of an 18 year-old woman in Sunset Park, is being held without bail pending a psychiatric evaluation. Though he was arrested in 2007 for groping a woman in Chinatown, he hasn't been charged with any additional Brooklyn attacks. 

[Via The Daily News]

A FiPS Guide For Avoiding Death or Dismemberment on the Subway

Photo via i35south.net/

One of the reasons I'm so damned fat is that I need to take in a lot of calories in order to ensure that I won't have a low blood sugar moment while riding the subway. If I don't eat a shit ton of food all the time, there's a risk that I could become exceedingly cranky on the F train and start an altercation with a knife-wielding lunatic.  Or, even worse, I might become dizzy and disoriented and could fall onto the tracks, just as the train is approaching.

Both scenarios are completely terrifying. Fortunately, Reddit posted an interview with a subway conductor, and they asked EXACTLY the right questions that enable to me to restrict my caloric intake, safely. 

Q: What's the best way to a) get help if someone is sick or being attacked and b) when DO you pull the emergency brake? 

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Sunset Park Man Arrested This Morning After Sexual Attack

Earlier today police arrested a man for groping an 18 year-old woman in Sunset Park this past Monday. 26 year-old  Adolfo Martinez, who was identified through surveillance video and an incriminating statement, has been charged with forcible touching and sexual abuse. He's currently being held in central booking, and will be placed in a line-up for previous victims of attack to view.

Martinez is now the second man to be arrested this month in connection with at least one sexual attack in Brooklyn. You hear that, copycats and fellow gropers? We're catching you dipshits. Ain't nothin' gonna' break our stride.

[Via the NYT]

NYPD Promises To Increase Sensitivity In Light Of Sexual Attacks

Sensitivity Training / Cartoon by Barry Deutsch So everyone knows that crazy pervs are still roaming the streets threatening neighborhood women and elluding New York's boys in blue. We were all painfully reminded of this with the recent attack in Windsor Terrace on Sunday night. And the question on everyone's mind is: WHAT THE F*CK IS THE NYPD DOING ABOUT IT? 

I live around the corner from where the last attack happened. Because of this, I was visited on Monday by three separate teams of detectives all asking about my landlord's surveillance cameras. Each time I gave them the same information, and each time a new team would come. I would say, "You guys have been here already asking the same questions," to which a guy on the last team said, "Yeah we have problems with communications amongst us." Yeah. No fuckin' kidding. 

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