Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza: Day One [Co-Workers-n-BREEDERS]

This is our week-long dive head first into the trenches of holiday gift shopping, Park Slope style. Buy local, bitches! Unless, of course, you enjoy walking past empty storefronts every ten feet. In today's edition we cover annoying co-workers and BREEDERS.

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The Holiday Gift FIPStravaganza

The holidays are upon us, and since we all hate the Atlantic Center Mall as much as Tiger Woods’ wife hates him right about now (can you imagine what THAT place was like on Black Friday?  I’m shuddering), we decided to compile a list of cool gifts you can get for the various dbags in your life.

Each day, we’ll give you a bunch of gift suggestions for two of the people who fall into these ten gift-buying categories:

1. Co-worker you hate but have to pretend to like
2. Breeder friend and/or their bitch-ass kids
3. Douchey granola-eating, Birkenstock-wearing hippie friend
4. The drunk in your life
5. Lovable nerds (and/or your dorky kid brother)
6. Home design gurus
7. Overly sentimental "spirit guide" friends who constantly remind you of their life motto: “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE.”
8. Fur baby mamas-n-daddies
9. Foodie friends
10. Brooklyn snobs

All of the gifts we’ve picked are a.) relatively affordable and b.) can be bought right here in Park Slope (more specifically, on 7^th or 5^th avenues).  So stay tuned for FIVE DAYS of cool shit (via crappy iPhone photos, smart ass, potentially-offensive commentary, and an occasional high-res photo we googled when we got home). 

True confessions: doesn’t it feel nice to know that you can get all of your holiday shopping done without even having to get on the subway?  Good thing, too, because the F train isn’t running again. Or is it?  Who even fucking knows anymore?

Happy holidays!

COOP SHAME TSHIRTS, THE REDUX

Fuck being out of town for a wedding, cause I end up spending a million dollars and then end up missing shit like this: COOP SHAME TEES.

FIPS set the trend by featuring this shit, but now everyone is jumping on board...and quite deservedly. Cause it looks like my holiday shopping is all done for the year (Grandma, I apologize in advance, but this is really better than those bath salts).

Take your pick among the best, because you know you missed your damn shift and liked it: 

-Suspended at the Coop

-Grace Period at the Coop

-On Alert at the Coop

Oh yeah, and end hunger in Brooklyn while you're at it: a percentage of the proceeds goes to a Brooklyn hunger-relief charity.  Seriously.  Making fun of people while feeding the needy?  It doesn't get better than that.

Park Slope is fucking famous, guys.

Ring ring, paging Adrian Grenier?  Hit us up and we'll buy you one so you can wear it loud and proud, you cheat.

Now, next order of business: one of you single Slope boys (yes, all of five of you) has to knock me up so I can make brilliant use of that hot pink Got Kombucha? onesie.

Get em while they're hot here.

Meredith is a freelance writer who can often be found yelling at her computer in the Tea Lounge while editing her first novel.  She lives on the border of Park Slope and Windsor Terrace, depending on who you ask (but defends Terrace Bagels to the death, regardless).  She self-indulgently writes about  all of these things on her personal blog, Meredithturits.tumblr.com.

'I Joined The Park Slope Food Coop, And All I Got Was This Stinkin Shirt'

Inspired by the recent NYT article lamenting about how verry verry hawd it is to keep up with one's required Coop work shift schdule, our new blog bff Definitive Ink was called to action: behold, the Coop status shirts! You can choose between: "on alert," "suspended," "grace period," or "suspended."

[Yes, people...we a-r-e serious].

Buy the t-shirts here.

TOTALLY. FUCKING. BRILLIANT

'You Say Goodbye, And I Say Hello'

(photo via Brownstoner)

Hello to:

*Laytner's Linen & Home - opening up on Union Street between 6th and 7th ave's. They will allegedly be selling expensive sheets, expensive towels and all sorts of other expensive shit that you don't yet know you want, but SOON WILL. Yay! I'll finally have something to do while I wait for late, irresponsible zipcar assholes who can never seem to bring my fucking "Winny" back to the garage on Union on time. (Brownstoner)

*Hog Mountain - no siree, that was not a typo, folks! Hog Mountain is a new dude store for manly, man dudes that opened up on 5th Ave and Sackett. They sell clothing, outerwear, toiletries, and some hardware. 68 fans on Facebook can't be wrong, so I would go man up and check it out pronto. (Brownstoner)

*Provini - we tried it. It's DELICIOUS. <3. It's from the Bar Toto/Bar Tano crew and is on 8th ave and 13thish. Thoughtful, fresh Italian food with a killer beer/wine list. (Brooklynian)

*El Jalapeno - also tried it...also pretty friggin good. If these mofos can steer clear of the passive/agressive signage, this shit might work. (FIPS)

*Little Buddy Biscuit Company - is on 5th avenue across from Eagle Provisions. And despite some confusion, its *not* a dog bakery and its *not* just a biscuit shop (which is what I originally thought). It's a regular ole bakery that sells cookies and scones and all sorts of other delicious, fattening shit. I haven't been there yet, but its ON my list. (Brooklyn Food Blog)

Goodbye to:

*Juniors - no, they aren't closing, and yes they have one of the best turkey reuben's I've ever had, but they are dead to me now. (Daily News and FIPS)