Jesus Christ, Whole Foods [Again]

It's in, its out, it's in...I can't fucking keep up.

After reports that Whole Foods wasn't happenin on 3rd Ave, now it appears that it is. Or might be. Honestly, I can't keep up.

But according to Curbed, those bitches are 3/4 finished cleaning up the toxic dump that is soon (?) to house your organic white nectarines and hormone-free chicken tenders.

Whatever.

(via Curbed)

Get Your Kink On At Babeland and Do Good

Come on, bitches: buy a dildo and feed some homeless people please: 

For 25 years Food Bank For New York City has been the city’s major hunger-relief organization by procuring and distributing food to a network of approximately 1,000 food assistance programs citywide that help to feed the approximately 4 million New Yorkers in need. Babeland is teaming up with neighboring retailers to help out and reward your effort! Bring 5 or more cans of food to any Babeland store July 17-19 during our Semi-Annual Sale and get up to 25% off everything at Babeland as well as discounts and deals at neighboring retailers likeEd Hardy, Dermalogica, Lazaro,Montauk Sofa, VivienneTam, andAntique Garagein SoHo andThe Dressing Room, Roni-Sue’s Chocolates, 20 PeacocksandTropical Salonon the Lower East Side. In Brooklyn, take your philanthropy to the Bergen Street Stoop Sale to get 25% off at Babeland and 20% off at Bump, Eponymy, Ride Brooklyn, Private Stock and Bergen Street Comics and enjoy select discounts on food and drinks at Fish and Sip, Melt andOrganic Heights.

Even without a donation, you can shop Babeland’s Sale and enjoy 20% savings on everything in the store! But the more you give, the more you getoff.

For complete details on participating businesses, visit babeland.com/summersale

Whole Foods Ain't Happenin in Park Slope

Sorry, bitches. It's official:

“Whole Foods does not have immediate plans to open in Brooklyn,” said company spokeswoman Mara Engel Weleck, who suggested that the land [on 3rd Ave] would be sold.

Of course they say they'd *still* maybe, kinda, sorta like to come to BK at some point, but who knows when that will be, blah, blah, blah.

Personally, I love Trader Joes waaaay more, so I kind of don't give a shit. You?

(via The Brooklyn Paper)

Let's Get Stoned?

I like cleverly-named stores and restaurants as much as the next person, which is to say I kind of hate them (hearing that “Bah-da-BAH!” drum sound in my head upon noting the cleverness or pun). Park Slope is not exempt from such venues: Pita Pan. The V Spot. Spring Thyme. And my prime target of WTF-ness, Stoned.

No no, not the capital act of being wonderfully high from illegal substances. A rock store! A rock and shells and minerals and meteors and crystals and fossils store (Okay fine, the sound of “meteors” is kind of cool). From the stoners who brought us Rock Star Crystal Warehouse in Manhattan, Stoned graces lovely 5th Avenue in Park Slope. Shiny geodes, crystals, quartz obelisks!

Are you excited yet???

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POLITICALLY CORRECT 'GREEN' DRYCLEANER COMING TO PARK SLOPE

FINALLY!

Now in addition to our politically correct community based Food Coop, our politically correct recycling program, and our politically correct gay children's hat support society, we can f-i-n-a-f-u-c-k-i-n-g-l-y add a politically correct dry cleaner!

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