[What To Do In Park Slope When...] Your Manhattan Friends Come For A Fall Staycation.

Image via Eric Ryan Anderson

The word "staycation" is maybe the worst atrocity that marketers have committed in the last hundred years, but I'm using it here because it's the only appropriate word for when your friends from Manhattan "come all the way out" to Brooklyn for some rest and relaxation time. Fall is a particularly frequent time for Manhattanites to travel the full fifteen minutes it takes to get to the Slope, expecting a full on autumn Festival as soon as they haul their asses off the R train. 

Rightfully so. People actually decorate shit for harvest/Thanksgiving/Halloween in these parts, and no one loves a cornucopia like this girl. 

SO, what do you do when you being asked to provide a relaxing fall-themed day for your Manhattanite friends?

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WHO GIVES A SHIT: Does Your Dog Walk Like A Complete Asshole?

Cause Oliver T-O-T-A-L-L-Y does.

Now look: I know that this is mostly my fault cause I just let him do it, but my dog obsesively zigzags up and down the street like it's his job. I've drawn a diagram of a typical walk down our block, and I swear to you: this is not even remotely an exaggeration.

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Buy These Severed Legs For Your LapDog To Sleep On!

Has your lapdog been bitching about his or her regular, run-of-the-mill dog bed? Does your pooch yearn for a place to nap that feels more like a warm crotch? Look no further, pet owners. Laps of Luxury has exactly what you're looking for (human entrails and genitalia not included).

[Via Laughing Squid]

FFFOUND! Winston Is Back Home!

As a completely neurotic dog owner, trust me when I say that one of the most harrowing, disastrous scenarios you can possibly ever imagine, is one in which your poor, sweet, lovable dog is lost, roaming the streets by himself far from home. These scenarios don't usually involve incompetent police officers, but the  story of Winston did...and it literally ripped my heart out of my chest when I heard it.

BUT NOW HE'S HOME! Hoooooray!

To refresh your memory, Michael Reinhardt and his girlfriend lost Winston in Prospect Park after the dog got spooked and ran off. A girl found him, and was on her way to Sean Casey Animal Rescue when she encountered a police officer who said he'd take the dog off her hands. The police officer claimed he gave the dog to another couple who claimed that it was theirs. Only apparently that's a gigantic load of bullshit.

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[MY FAVORITE PARK SLOPE...] Vet: Dr. Morehead at Animal Kind

IMAGE VIA PARK SLOPE LENS

Yo, we like lots of shit in Park Slope, and this is where we're gonna talk about it all. Got a fave Park Slope somethin somethin? Email us and let us know, who, what, where, or why you love someone or something in Park Slope as hard as you do.

If you read this blog regularly, you already know several things:

1. I am totally fucking obsessed with my dog Oliver
2. I am way the hell more annoying about my dog than you are about your bebe
3. I take better care of my dog than I do myself.

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