STFU Parents

Welcome to our new fave blog: STFU Parents.

They've jumped head first with a bang,  into an issue that we at FIPS touched on many months ago: Facebook = Babybook

You used to be fun. Now you have a baby. If you're being driven crazy by your friends' baby updates every time you check your status feed, please feel free to contribute to this blog. stfuparentsblog@gmail.com Also on Twitter: twitter.com/STFUParents *submissions can be text, screen capture, anonymous, etc.*

Come on, people! So far, Park Slope is severely UN-represented on this site.  Step it up!

BREAKING: Park Slope Breeders Still Totally Fucking Annoying

The NY Post today dove into the always entertaining issue of obnoxious/smug/sanctimom parenting. And you know what? The funny thing is that fellow parents make fun of each other way the fuck better than we ever could:

"Recently, one woman on Twitter was just blasting another woman who had admitted to feeding her kid a Happy Meal. Literally, she said something like, 'Happy Meals are for people who are trying to kill their children."

Thankfully, Park Slope's coolest parent, blognigger, also chimed in to comment on how annoying and stupid everyone is.

(via NY Post)

Shockingly, We Did Not Find This On The Park Slope Parents Listserv

(via Buzzfeed)

Obnoxious Park Slope Brats Likely To Turn Into Obnoxious Park Slope BREEDERS

Ok, well this isn't exactly shocking news, but inneresting nonetheless: there's a new study out in the Journal of Personality that says:

"Adolescents who say they always take charge, tell others what to do, anger quickly, get into fights easily, and walk, talk and eat fast end up having more kids than others when they grow up. That's true regardless of the kids' performance in school."

So that little asshole who ruined your brunch at Dizzy's last weekend? Uhm, yeah so we're actively recruiting him for our BREEDER vs. BALLER column circa 2019.

(via Cityfile)

Your Baby Can Read

I hate to break it to you, but if you have a child over the age of 8 mos old who is NOT yet reading, then your baby is dumb. 

Sorry, but apparently its true.

I watched a totally fucking amazing infomercial this weekend for the "Your Baby Can Read" series of DVD's and, oh em gee, I was blown the eff away. Babies really can read people!?  Who knew?

There's actual video to back this shit up.  Seriously, go to the website and watch.  Some 8-month-old is running through some flashcards and a 2-year-old is rattling off the state capitals.  I learned to read in Kindergarten and was treated like a fucking rockstar--it's pretty annoying to find out that I should have been with the slow kids.

Anyway, if you're a BREEDER, I'd highly reccommend you get on this gravy train.  It's cheaper than a Park Slope Parents membership and might even get your kid into Harvard...or Burklee Caroll Berkley Carroll (or whatever).