DOG PARK WARS: Eggs-N-Bitches

So, looks like this dog park egg saga shit is still goin on.

Gothamist reports that there was yet another incident of a dog and their owner just chillin out at the dog park behind that ugly ass Novo condo on 4th Ave, when out of the sky came a flying egg.

Here's the thing Novo egg-throwing asshole: we all live in motherfucking NYC...and its noisy here. You hear sirens, choppers circling, bebes crying, husbands beating the shit out of their wives, frat boys playing Madden, bands rehearsing, morons with car alarms, horns honking, and all sorts of annoying shit. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

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If You Love Someone, Set Them Free: Off Leash In Prospect Park

The picture above is an *actual* photo of our dog Oliver in Prospect Park Friday morn...without his leash on. Like FOR REAL.

[Deep breaths. Deep breaths].

This might not seem like a big deal to you, but trust me: it totally fucking is.

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"Fucking The Trend"

art by Lydia Nichols

I'm lazy...and didn't feel like waking up early to search around for shit to post today. 

So get your asses on over to the Park Slope Reader and read the profile they did on FIPS.

[Also, if you don't think that graphic of Oliver typing away on his laptop is the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life, then we seriously have nothing to say to each other].

I Think It's Easier To Buy Cocaine Than It Is To Get Pills For My Dog

God bless America...seriously.

If I need some Vicodin I check in with my friend Mark, and he hooks a sista up. I have 4 extra Valium leftover from when we "borrowed" them from a generous family member (who wanted to be paid back in weed) from the time we took our overnight flight back from Spain. And I can buy my ephedra diet pills, no problemo, online.

Who knew that the most difficult fucking prescription drug challenge I'd have was getting my dog some goddamned pills.

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FIPS Raison D'Etre

photo: petographs

Dear Everyone Who Thinks This Blog Should Go Suck A Dick,

Right.

Well, at least we're not a blog THAT IS COMPLETELY FUCKING WRITTEN BY MARTHA STEWART'S DOGS.

I am not shitting you.  Her French Bulldogs Francesca and Sharkey have a blog...and attend meetings...and write posts.  On THEIR BLLLLAAAHHHHGGGG.

This thing e-x-i-s-t-s.

And if THAT blog gets to exist out in the world, than I don't want to hear FUCK ALL from any of you mofos about this one.

xo,

FIPS

p.s. This is our dog Oliver above.  And he mostly sits around licking  his asshole, eating stray fruit loops that have fallen behind the couch and whining like a little bitch to be taken out on walks.  He doesn't have a blog.