Park Slope Valentine's Day Resto Roundup

Where are you gonna spend the most romantic evening OF YOUR LIFE? VALENTINE'S DAY!?

Seriously, the quality of your Valentine's Day dinner could make or break your marriage. Or maybe even get you engaged if you're still waiting for your BF to put a ring on it (like me). We’ve rounded up the nabe's most delish sounding Valentine’s Day menus, so take a look and make your rezzies! Hopefully your date won’t be ruined by BREEDERS who bring their kiddos with them (which I am totally gonna do, FYI).

Now, before you get all up in arms about how I left out this place or that place –– HOLD UP. I’ll have you know HELLA restaurants don’t have their special menus online (I’m looking at you, al di la). So if you feel like I’ve totes rejected your fave spot, feel free to post a link to their Valentine’s menu in the comments!

ALSO. Something to think about on your date: The scene in Flashdance where Alex gives Nick a foot job at the dinner table.

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Who Gives A Shit? Pine Needle Gate

It didn't take long but we have a new local scandal for a new year. No, I don't mean the suicidal dude who tried to kill himself over the weekend by jumping out his window only to land on a life-saving mound of garbage bags, courtesy of our beloved Sanitation Department. 

No, you know it's a whole new day, a whole new year when you go down to take out the recycling on the first Sunday evening of 2011 and see five separate irate notes yelling at the inconsiderate dumbasses who dragged their Christmas tree down the stairs sans bag and vacuum cleaner.

The perps left a telltale trail of pine needles from their door (they tried to clean up a touch by the actual door to cover up) but nothing gets by my good neighbors. And not a one of these notes was from me, either. 

Thank Gawd our tree is still standing in the corner; there could be a knock on the door any minute.

We are going to wait until it is so crispy, it catches on fire as we throw it out of our 4th floor window, yelling "look out below." No, actually, my family treehugger wraps our tree in enough plastic and duct tape to ensure that it will never shed a needle and then drags it up to the park to alleviate a little of our liberal guilt over killing it in the first place.

And yes, the same household who brings us the annual pine needle procession tried throwing it out the window a few years back. I watched in shock and awe as the dude stood on the fire escape with the tree and the wife tried to direct from below. And they're very nice the other 364 days of the year.  

So, where do you come down on this most important issue of 2011 (so far, anyway)? Would you pull out the vacuum? Would you publicly spank your neighbor for not? Would you buy them a giant tree bag for next year?

Do you give a shit?

Also, Attention Lazy Christians!!!! Per their press release, "the environmentally-friendly staff at 1-800 Mr. Rubbish will be voluntarily (as in free) picking up discarded holiday trees on January 8th and 9th as part of Mulchfest. All neighborhood residents living in the area between Union and 15th Street and between 6th Avenue and Prospect Park West can leave your tree at either end of your block before 1:00 p.m. on both days for pickup."

WHASSUP: New Year's Eve 2010 Edish

 

2010 is basically over, which means you can leave all of your failures on a different calendar, and start 'em anew. Hooray. Here's some shit going down in the Slope:

*Restaurant specials. Tons of stuff going down, and while I can't possibly list it all, here's a taste so you can make your rezzies. 5 course menu at Fonda; 3 course special with live music at Sette; 5 courses with beer pairings at Beer Table, 4 courses at at a.o.c., 5 course tasting at Benchmark and $40 for an open bar from 10p-2a at Barrio (their regular menu will also be avail). OH and just to mix it up, Barrio is doing a children's buffet from 2-8pm for $10 bucks, so that the whole fam can sit down and gorge themselves together, before mom and dad go out and have their real fun later that night.

*Lyceum party. UglyRhino's party at the Brooklyn Lyceum includes live music and DJs. Drinks for $5 and less, $1 shots. $10. 9pm. Details.

*Happy House party. Moved from Bell House to Union Hall this year. DJing a mix of Swedish post, Motown, indie, electroclash, etc. $15. 8pm. Details.

*Fireworks. Prospect Park fireworks, obi. Prospect Park West between Grand Army Plaza and 9th Street. Free. 11pm. Details.

*Guns N' Roses tribute. Mr. Brownstone plays their drunken tribute to GNR at the Rock Shop. $25. 8pm. Details.

*Comedy. Mr. Murray Hill's New Year's Eve Extravaganza variety show (monkey included) moves to Southpaw this year. Burlesque, music, booze. $45-$100. 10:30pm. Details.

*Beer. The Gate's doing no-cover NYE specials with special winter ales and cocktails, plus Captain Lawrence Brewery goodies. Discounts pre-11pm.

*Soul party. Funk and soul party including Marva Whitney and Billy Prince at the Bell House. 8pm. $30. Details.

Instead of complaining that I left off your rad party, put it in the comments. Happy 2011 etc. While you are al getting drunk, I will be enjoying my heater and cooking with my new mandoline. Waffle cut radishes, anyone?

OPEN POST: Merry FIPSmas, Btchz

Sending a shoutout to all my goys.

In the meantime, throw a Jew a bone: WHAT DID EVERYONE GET FOR XMAS???

Christmas Eve Special: Thank God for Bill Me Later.

It was a nail biter but I know my neighbors will be relieved to hear that the hot pink electric guitar and amp have arrived in time!

I'm feeling distinctly Grinch-like at the moment but am hoping that looking at my butt-naked wii boxer of last Christmas will put me in a more festive mood. The bigger is singing me the Chanukah Song, which he's memorized in honor of the season.

As it turns out, I'm not the only cranky BREEDER. While you kid-frees are still ruminating over at the Clay Pot and Loom, we're in crisis.

My old friend Nicole, "It may be Christmas time, but one more 3 a.m. wake-up and it's gonna seem like Halloween around here..."

My friend K is even worse. Her status update yesterday was succinct and to the point:  "Fucking hate Christmas."

My other friend K is even worse off than K-1. She's running a 102 fever and had to cancel Christmas Eve.

So, according to the USPS, the continuing inclement economic tidings have possibly cured today's generation of little people of their natural acquisitiveness if letters to Santa are any indication. What their "chief elf" told NPR:

"This year, the letters are single moms, three kids, no winter coats, no shoes, blankets, can't pay the bills, not enough food in the pantry. So the need has changed tremendously."

What do you think? Have you been successful in keeping it simple this year?

Show us your letters to Santa. Gimmes not yet cured over at my place but littlest tyrant did apologize politely for the obscene number of requests.