Undercover: PARK SLOPE FOOD COOP [FAQ]

Yo, we've got ourselves a real-life, ginuine, Park Slope Food Coop spy, and we're pretty fuckin stoked about it. In this brand new ongoing series, FIPS is gonna go deep into the heart of the belly of the most talked about/made fun of/loved/hated/debated Food Coop in the history of the universe.  Needless to say, our spy is gonna keep things stealth anon (so as to avoid getting a hit taken out on her and/or having her membership status suspended).

 As far is nieghborhood institutions go, I think the Park Slope Food Coop is sort of like our own Lyndon Johnson: lots of good intentions, some good actions, and a whole mess of terrible (and I'm a member).

In order to ease into things, I thought I'd start off with some FAQ's that I get asked again and again when I reveal to people that I'm a real-life member of "the motherfucking coop," as I like to call it.

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The Food Coop Is Almost *Too* Easy To Make Fun Of

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Who Gives A Shit: Are You A Coopretard?

Another simple question: Are you a Coopretard member of the Park Slope Food Coop?

That's it.

Again, answer in the comments (and feel free to go stealth anon if you want some priv-ass-y).

CO-OP ADVOCATES: JEWISH MEDIA SPREADING BOYCOTT LIES

LIES! all LIES!

I tell ya, all it takes is one Hima chick coming into a co-op meeting with a proposal to ban Israeli goods, the other self-righteous co-op members standing around nodding and trying to make her understand how much they too LOVE AND TOLERATE Islam, and The Jewish Media has to snap it up and turn it into a 3 ring circus.

Well, thanks to the great comments on BN's junk, as well as this explanation in Woodward and Bernstein's Brooklyn Paper, we now know that the whole story was just a mind-control device perpetrated by The Jews.

Now if we could just get to the bottom of comments left on BN's article by folks like Behind The Satiric Curve, who glibly reference "Israeli War Crimes" in their arguments. But hey, I'm sure those were out of context too.

BREAKING: Park Slope Food Co-op to Recommend That Jewish Members Wear Yellow Star of David

PARK SLOPE, Brooklyn (FIPSNN) - The trouble began in a local synagogue, of all places, where at a monthly general meeting, a Park Slope Co-op member proposed a ban on Israeli foods. The gesture was one of protest, aimed at expressing the organization's contempt for the country's recent military campaign in Gaza. Here in Brooklyn, however, many Jews objected; that's when divisive lines were formed, and Co-op members began to choose sides.

Now, in a move that is sure to ignite protest from Jewish advocacy groups citywide, the Co-op board has voted to recommend that Jewish Members adorn Stars of David while shopping at the Co-op. The Co-op board insists that the move is one of compassion, and senior members of the organization met with FIPSNN to elaborate.

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