Tuesday
Mar032009
Who Gives A Shit: Are You A Coopretard?
Posted by: 
Erica | Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 12:32AM
Erica | Tuesday, March 3, 2009 at 12:32AM 
Another simple question: Are you a Coopretard member of the Park Slope Food Coop?
That's it.
Again, answer in the comments (and feel free to go stealth anon if you want some priv-ass-y).
tagged Food Coop, Who Gives A Shit
Food Coop, Who Gives A Shit 
-->
Reader Comments (13)
I was one for about 6 months. I left last July and haven't looked back since.
I realized:
1) paying a "membership fee" and investment fee totaling $125 to grocery shop that was supposedly cheaper is retarded.
2) the co-op is a 15 minute walk from my house. i am lazy and that meant i hardly every went grocery shopping.
3) it is ALWAYS FUCKING CROWDED. though its tinier than a bodega, its impossible to get out of there in less than 2 hours.
4) i hated my work shift, the nazis who enforced all their rules, ect ect. no one likes this about the co-op so this is an easy one.
5) the other shoppers there are all smug middle class white people/assholes who think they're better than you for buying organic kale.
6) Finally, I realized that though the co-op's prices are better on high end organic items, they simply don't have cheap/non organic stuff. As I was living on a $30,000 salary at the time, I simply couldn't afford organic veganaise, even if it was cheaper at the co-op than it would be elsewhere. Now I shop at C Town and am easily able to spend less than $3 per meal with much less hassle. Maybe all the produce isn't organic, but I don't really care enough to spend more on it.
I attended the orientation and that was enough for me. This was years ago, but I remember cracking a fart joke about all those chickpea-eating-vegetarians in one place at one time and the response was enough to make me realize what I would have been getting myself in to.
No way, even if I wanted to, my wanna be gun toting Republican hubby would leave me. Hhhhmmm, maybe I SHOULD join.
Yeah, I'm a member. I guess I might as well represent the other side. I don't hate it--I love it. I don't care if you hate it, though, because it is too crowded. Shop elsewhere, really, more organic kale for me.
Of course, I was raised in a religious cult so by comparison the coop and its rules are nothing much.
i'm a member of the PSFC. and i love it. so suck it, nerds.
but really, the place is not for everyone. and so some people don't like it.
but, what i cannot understand is why the people who don't like the coop **love** to hate on the co-op in public. loudly. i mean, it's not like there aren't republican cavemen around for you to hate on loudly. or shit - bernie madoff. hate on him. but the coop? really? seriously?
are you *that* bummed that it is members only? come on, that is what really makes you hate the place - that it's members only.
admit it, you boner. THAT'S why you hate on the coop. because it's members only and you don't like that.
admit it.
only members can shop there. and you can't because you aren't a member (or you couldn't deal with the 3 hrs/month of volunteering you self-involved hack). and that only members can shop there and you can't - that FREAKS YOU OUT.
right?
effing sucker. get a life.
you feel like you DESERVE to be able to shop WHEREVER you want WHENEVER you effing want.
you privileged-ass pansy.
anyway, i am not gonna bother to defend the coop since, as i said, it's not for everyone. neither is the grand army plaza farmers' market. can anyone say, "park slope mating ritual"?
sadsack haters.
oh, i am not gonna bother to hate on Whole Foods, an anti-union corporate behemoth that sells regular produce for insane prices. oh wait, i am gonna hate on Whole Foods. but only when i next hear some whiney little fuck mewl about how the coop is so awful wah wah wah. i want to be able to shop there WHENEVER I WANT.
so, throw a tantrum, you privileged turd. and then head over to Whole Foods with your pilates'd-out little wifey and shove some $20/cheese up your ass.
I am a member; I'll admit it. It's really not that bad, lovies, and they always have random ingredients like Jerusalem artichokes. And, since I'm usually shopping for one I use the express(ish) line even when I have more than 15 items or whatever. I'm a rebel. I know.
Don't you think we make the orientation and initiation difficult so that it's easier to weed the chaff from the grain? You all act like everything should be so EASY and your dad can buy you anything you want.
I'm going to recommend we make the orientation even more difficult and the shift schedule more rigid.
Only the committed should be part of our co-op! We don't need children telling "fart jokes."
I was a founding member, but I got thrown out for calling an dumb cunt a dumb cunt.
Famous folks whose asses you would kiss just to feel the warmth of their farts are members, work their shifts and have 100% no problem.
It's whiny slopie privledged dinks like you who cause the trouble.
I'd smack you but all your parents are lawyers and you're all rich enough to pay guys in Gowanus to smack me down.
OH SNAP!
Yo, ENOM called. They want the domain back.
I am a member and I love it! My favorite parts are:
1. hearing calls for "dried goats milk" on the pa system
2. seeing people use the phones on the floor to call their wiffuses and ask "honey, do I like margarine or butter?"
3. daycare
4. cheap beef bones in the freezer
5. special-ordering stuff in bulk
6. really cheap dog treats
And all the pushing, make-ups, strident rastafarii, lines, weird hasidim and out-of-stock items don't seem to get me down, somehow.
The PSFC is a cult. Most cult members are usually very defensive and use the same excuse to make themselves feel better - that people don't like it because it is members only. Also, going on a rant to rag on people who are ranting isn't exactly the smartest thing to do - because you are yourself ranting. Your validity is wiped out.
So, no, I'm not a member. I don't even live in Park Slope, but I wouldn't drink their kool-aid. There are plenty of other organic stores in Brooklyn and there are also free, open to the public coops in Brooklyn that I would frequent before going to PSFC.
i think the ranting by mns was meant as a parody of fucked in park slope. but maybe that's presuming too much sophistication.
my butt smells