FIPS CARES: Clothing Repairs & Alterations?

I believe it was the wise Black Eyed Peas who once said (and I quote): "They say they love my ass in / Seven Jeans, True religion..." Couldn't have said it better myself.

Anyway, remember that recesh that sent our economy flying into a giant pile of shit? Well, some of us mofos are still waiting to get over that, except the problem is -- our gentrified jeans ain't waiting. I'll spare you the details (FINE, my thighs are currently a leeetle too close together -- it's a genetic defect), bottom line: I need someone who can do a decent job fixing my hot pants, preferably without charging up the ass for it.

Thoughts? Suggestions? As always, if you're afraid of the Slope tailor mafia, feel free to go stealth anon.

 [ed. note: OH SNAP! I got another tip that Janine is an absolute miracle worker. You can reach her at sewjanine@gmail.com].

FIPS CARES: The TONY Challenge

With the TONY Challenge, Time Out New York is working to raise $25,000 to benefit the Food Bank For New York City.  By donating $1, you provide FIVE meals to hungry New Yorkers. 

I know we all complain about how we don't have any money, but where are we every weekend?  The bar, obviously. 

Join me in sacrificing one beer for a good cause.  It'll feel good, I promise.  

FIPS CARES: Pull Up Your Pants, Dumbass!

My Homie!!!!  My Homey??!!!! 

Whatever…you are my personal hero, State Senator Eric Adams of Brooklyn.

Senator Adams, we at FIPS applaud your noble, maybe even tireless campaign to STOP THE SAG with your purchase of six billboards to combat this ridonculously enduring fashion trend. 

We join you in calling out to the youth and plumbers of Brooklyn to pull up your goddamned pants!

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FIPS CARES: Xena the Pussycat

FIPS cares! (really...we do).

Ok everyone, listen up! We have another FIPS CARES community assignment. Why the fuck should you care? Cause maybe we'll be helping your ass next.

Xena the cat needs our help:

Dear FIPS,

As an avid reader of yours, i am turning to you for help. i can't rely on my normal BREEDER folks for help in this situation, b/c the problem stems from my procreation. Here's the scoop:

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FIPS CARES: No Fracking Way!

Last time I checked, tap water shouldn’t be flammable.

So it gives me serious agita when I hear that 230 mystery toxins may be coming to a glass of water near me (and you), courtesy of our deeply suckish Governor.

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