FIPS CARES: Xena the Pussycat

FIPS cares! (really...we do).

Ok everyone, listen up! We have another FIPS CARES community assignment. Why the fuck should you care? Cause maybe we'll be helping your ass next.

Xena the cat needs our help:

Dear FIPS,

As an avid reader of yours, i am turning to you for help. i can't rely on my normal BREEDER folks for help in this situation, b/c the problem stems from my procreation. Here's the scoop:

Ten years ago i took my friend's cat from an inhospitable living situation (a mean, cat-hating roommate) when i moved here to the slope from the south. Xena, my warrior princess kitty, was my baby covered in fur until--you guessed it--i had some real babes. Xena reluctantly welcomed my daughter into our home 2+ years ago, but i think the arrival of our son this past fall has just put her over the kitty edge. If she had a middle finger, i'd be getting it right now. if she could talk, she'd be screaming "WTF!?" at me.

In the meantime, she has perfected the kitty cold paw, shoots me dirty looks, and sulks around our apartment.

Recently she has taken to obsessive compulsive grooming. We took her to the vet, and he said she had anxiety and/or was depressed. He asked if something had recently changed in our home (um, yeah--baby #2). None of this shiz happened w/Xena pre-kids, but at this point she has licked/pulled out a sizable portion of her hair on the left side of her body. I feel her anxiety/depression stems from our babes who have taken over our 1 bedroom apartment (yes, we live like immigrants in order to stay in park slope). In Xena's defense, it's pretty hard to escape a rabid 2-year-old in an 800-square-foot space.

Problem is, the kids aren't going anywhere. And as much as my 2.5 year old is put in time out for "hugging" Xena (body slamming), "kissing" Xena (getting her in a head lock and dragging her around the house while kissing her head), the way a toddler shows love for her pet is obviously a tad too physical for my cat. I have encouraged Xena to give my sweet daughter a b*tch slap with her paw to put her in her place, but Xena is truly the MLK of cats and believes in peaceful protest. I know that in about 4 years (when baby boy is done with his turn of torturing the cat) they'll all be fabulous friends, but is it worth it for Xena to stay in a family enduring six years of misery? She is already 12 years old. And while the vet said, "she has the body of a 7 year old cat! she'll be around for a while!," I can't help but think she'd be happier in a child-free home.

Now before all you BALLERS crucify me for being one of "those people" who abandons their pet once they have kids, please know I have agonized about this and am just trying to figure out what xena might like best for the rest of her kitty life. The way she glares at me tells me she's not too keen on her current situation.

So if there are any of you BALLER folks out there who aren't planning on getting knocked up or sperminating anyone in the next 5 years or so: would you like to become a kitty mama/daddy to Xena? She is chill, has never once peed out of the litterbox, and just wants to have a home where she's not competing for lap/snuggle time with two little kiddos. She likes a little wet food once in a while, runs to the door when you come home, and will come equipped with all the kitty accoutrements. No homes with dogs or other cats, please.

Just thought i'd put this out there.

Help!

She added re: the pic above: attached is a pic of xena--she's so pretty and matches well with a lot of brownstone interior woodwork ;) her bald spot is growing--poor girl. It's fine for folks to email me directly, even if they're just going to tell me i suck balls b/c i'm trying to get rid of my cat. sigh...

If anyone can help sweet little Xena, please email Ms Dru. directly here: msdoctoru@gmail.com