Armory YMCA Opening on Sat [Sometimes People Send Me Random Stuff]

Exhibit motherfucking A.

I knew I wasn’t the *only* person completely freaking stoked about the Park Slope Armory (opening Saturday, WHAT!). 

This morning, I got a surprise present in my inbox from FIPS reader Majo who took her own stoked-dom about the Armory opening to a level that just kicked FIPS right in the ass.  Now, I’m completely unsure why this exists or what on god’s green earth prompted her to do this (maybe a Robicelli’s cupcake binge, if we’re going for a PG-13 guess here?!) but lo and behold, your new Armory Anthem (see above).

Fucking cartwheels, people.  Endless cartwheels (God, some of you Slopers are weird).

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Who Needs The Armory?

Ever since I watched this news report FOUR freaking times on the cab ride back from LaGuardia on Sunday, I've been waiting to see some of you BALLER commuters somersaulting by me on 8th Ave. I'd start the movement myself except it looks way too hard.

So, if you want to get out of shelling out $42/month for the new Armory Y, this one's for you: The Parkour Workout.

I can't quite figure out if they meant for this to be as funny as it is...

Fuck Yeah, Park Slope Armory!

I AM SO EXCITED I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF.

South Slopers sometimes get the shaft.  We’re told we live in Windsor Terrace (this may or may not be true).  We have no express train (yes, I will mention this in every post I make, go cry about it).  We have to explain on a daily basis that Terrace Bagels beats the bloody pulp out of Bagel Hole (go cry about this, too). We’re sort of like that obnoxious kid you have to love just because it’s related to you.

But this morning, our buddies at Brokelyn posted that the Armory on 15th and Eighth is now a state-of-the-art, 9th-street-in-your-face Y!  That’s right, 9th–STREET-IN-YOUR-FACE.  This is stupid awesome.

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Ad-derall: Skechers Shape-Ups

Ad-deral is a column in which we rant and riff on the ridiculous ads we're subjected to while trapped on the subway.  From the borderline racist local businesses (1-800-MARGARITA Divorce Attorneys) to the condescending national brands that pretend to know what it's like to ride the goddamned F train every day (Snickers, Delta), we'll tackle them all with the same smug outlook that has made us totally (not) famous.
 
It's a new year, so everyone is desperately holding tight to their resolutions to lose weight and pretending like they're not going to spend this weekend drinking 10,000 beers and placing 2AM orders with Dominos.

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If Biking and Eating Don't Make You Vomit, You Should Do Gears & Grub

Personally, I'm:

• Deathly afraid of riding a bike in NYC.
• AND, very fucking lazy.

*BUT,* if I wasn't going to be away this weekend (READ: thank fucking gawd I am away this weekend), this is the sort of thing I could maybe get my ass motivated for: Gears and Grub.

Vendr.tv and Brooklyn by Bike have teamed up for this Brooklyn based eat-a-thon shit, and it sounds like they are going to be hitting up some great spots all around the BK.

You can Facebook RSVP herrrre.