Fit and Still Fucked: Brooklyn Half Marathon, the Asshole Parade

It's almost Brooklyn Half Marathon Time, and I'm going to pop a big hole in that balloon and say The New York Road Runners should keep their fucking mega races of 5000 mostly snotty Upper East Siders to Central Park where they belong. The Alliance can barely keep Prospect Park from going to shit without the additional mess caused by dudes pissing in the bushes and hundreds of energy gels getting tossed in the first 3 miles by fatties who can't hold out to the finish to claim their enormous bagels. I'm still stepping on that shit a year later.

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2011 2nd Annual Ass-Off

Yes, the time has come again for (drumroll)... my Annual Spring Ass-Off.

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Who Gives A Shit: Work It OUT!

What with the chemical disaster unfolding at the YMCA this weekend, AND #myfatass just being its normal fat self, I've had fitness on the brain.

Then I came across this post on the Yelp message boards from someone who is thinking of opening up a spinning studio in Park Slope! (sidenote, I suggested this shit way back when in our Coming Soon to Park Slope post. Any aspiring entrepreneurs should feel free to check that post out for some other good ideas...espesh in the comments).

Right, so now I'm wondering what sort of health/wellness/exercise thingys you ppl have going in Park Slope that don't totally suck? Great classes? A killer trainer? You can even drop some regular ole NYC tips right on my face, just cuz we all take the subway-n-shit.

I'm goin to kick things off with a tip from Greg, cause he's now a Pilates convert: Chantal at Ellie Herman Pilates is the bomb diggity. She recently also started teaching IntenSati classes at their new Annex and those are allegedly pretty killer too.

Your turn...

THE BALLER VERSION OF HELL

BREEDERS, ever wonder what the BALLER version of hell on Earth is?  Sing-a-long hour at the Tea Lounge? The Seventh Avenue Halloween parade?  No.  It is called YMCA Healthy Kids Day.  And holy shit is it frightening.

I dragged my ass out of bed to get in my Saturday AM workout at the Armory - you know, the one place where I can clear my head and pretend no one else exists - and walked through the door to this fucking rugrat jamboree.  I may have seen my dating life flash before my eyes, a chorus of animated diapers chanting, "Single girl, you are no longer welcome."

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Ass-Off

In honor of National Personal Trainer Awareness Day, Healthy Weight Week, and in breathless anticipation of getting my married rocks off at the Valentine’s Shag PJ Party Erica is planning (yes, that’s right: I sent that cougar needs to get laid email--not!), I am crash dieting.

I know: you PC Park Slopers think I should love my fat ass as is and focus on a healthy body image, but my six-year-old AND my 11-year-old have started making fun of me as I struggle valiantly into my inexplicably tight jeans. My husband has taken to using code words like lush curves, rubenesque, or worse, no comment.

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