Whassup: Peri-Cupid Edition

It's Valentine's week, which means you might be preoccupied with your plans to cover your significant others' genitals in pink and red rose petals. Luckily, that's only one day during the week. The rest of the time, you're free to enjoy yourself amidst Park Slope's non-cupid-related amusements. Welcome to Whassup: Peri-Cupid Edition:

* Open Now: Freddy's Food, Freddy's: The former-North Slope, now South Slope dive institution, Freddy's, opened its kitchen Monday. Word is, they've got hot dogs, beans, and tater tots (menu not yet posted). That's some good, greasy bar food for a good, greasy dive bar. Go feed your habits.

* Friday, Feb. 10: MJ and Prince, Brooklyn Bowl: Usually, we try to keep the FiPS Whassup to Park Slope and adjacent 'hoods. But occasionally the rest of Brooklyn offers up something irresistible. So, try to resist this: The Prince and Michael experience wants to put the wiggles in your butt with DJ'd hits and rarities by two men who made even the whitest amongst us discover a love for R&B back in the '80's. Audience members divide off into camps supporting either star. Then fight to the death. (I think they actually just dance, but you never know.) 11pm, $10.

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Raps, Ropes, and Boobs: Variety Show Residency Starts at Union Hall

If you've lived in Park Slope for more than a couple months, you know the options for entertainment stretch far beyond the usual bar bands and well-drink specials. There are so many vaguely geeky, kinda ironic events -- storytelling, science lectures, nerd speed dating, classes, freakin' pun competitions -- that even these indie-rock-band-of-the-night alternatives need to try something DIFFERENT to stand out.

"And I am Not Lying," a storytelling and variety show that just began a monthly residency at Union Hall (first Tuesday of the month, 8pm, $10), has one solution: mix it all up. A variety show, with acts lurching from standup to storytelling to burlesque to, um, rope tricks (!) is charmingly old-fashioned -- but pretty perfectly suited to the times. Y'all know what our attention spans are like these days, I don't have to tell you. (Feel free to post that funny thing you just saw on twitter while you clicked away for a moment. For me, it was a witty meta-joke about the "Shit so-and-so's say" meme. Pretty solid.)

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Whassup: Super Sports (Not Really) Edition

via photobucket.com

Here it is, all you Park Slope graphic designers and aspiring slam poets: your chance to act like you care about sports for a few hours. Or, at least, to eat greasy snacks and enjoy some mildly entertaining, horrifyingly expensive commercials. It's Super Bowl week, and NY has got a horse in the race. I won't tell you which one (you'll have to use Google for that), but let's just say the quarterback looks seriously Aspergery and his last name rhymes with Panning. Anyhoo -- lest you forget amidst all the athleticism, there's also a bunch to do in this 'hood that doesn't involve large men grunting (depending on your date). Welcome to Whassup: Super Sports (Not Really) Edition:

* Thursday, Feb. 2: Obama Talk, Beth Elohim: Jodi Kantor, author of the upcoming tome on the First Couple, "The Obamas," talks about the coolest presidential pair with the Park Sloper all of us wannabe writer Park Slopers love to hate: Jonathan Safran-Foer. I hope he asks her why she didn't mess with the font size more in her book because that's what really makes great literature. 7:30pm, FREE (but RSVP requested).

* Saturday, Feb. 4: Grease Sing-Along, Bell House: Be honest. Do you not, at least secretly, want to sing along to Grease with a room full of friends and strangers? Ok, that was my foolproof test to check if someone is human. All of you aliens are totally busted. Humans, go sing. 8pm, $10.

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Whassup: Death of a Paw Edition

Jaguar Love at Southpaw, 2008 (by Dig the Well)

With the news of the Slope's old-school music venue Southpaw closing, I'm gonna list you one Southpaw show until the place croaks Feb. 20. But, never fear if even sentiment won't get you into their be-stickered walls, there's plenty else in the 'hood to do. Welcome to Whassup: Death of a Paw Edition: 

* Friday, Jan. 27: Singer-Songwriter Night, Roots Cafe: South Slope java shack, Roots, is an impossibly cozy and neighborhoody place to fill up on caffeine and MacBook juice. Most of the baristas are also musicians, and so the little spot hosts an equally cozy singer-songwriter review most Fridays. Stop in, pick up a bag of Stumptown, and stomp your boots. 8pm, FREE. 

* Saturday, Jan. 28: SomethingatSouthpaw, Southpaw: This week, it's one of my favorite regular events that (hopefully) will find a new home: Dig Deeper, a monthly showcase of old soul and R&B. Eula Cooper croons with one of the series' house bands. 9pm Doors, $12.

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Whassup: Ain't Got Time to Hibernate Edition

Well, it's finally gotten as cold as it's supposed to this time of year, which means you have a choice: hibernate beneath layers of blankets and takeout-derived fat, or decide to interpret those erect nipples not as a normal, physiological response to the temperature, but as an abnormal excitement for life. Go with the latter and get out there to enjoy the Slope with Whassup: Ain't Got Time to Hibernate Edition:

* Thursday, Jan. 19: Rejection Show w/Ted Leo, Littlefield: Originally conceived (I think) as a showcase for rejected jokes, the Rejection Show has branched into music. Come hear the songs that tasteless assholes said were no good -- from punky singer-songwriter Ted Leo (of the Pharmacists) and others. 7:30pm Doors, $8-10.

* Friday, Jan. 20: The Marijuana-Logues, Bell House: Dude. Duude, like...totally. What if...what if? Oh, man. 8pm, $10.

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