Raps, Ropes, and Boobs: Variety Show Residency Starts at Union Hall

If you've lived in Park Slope for more than a couple months, you know the options for entertainment stretch far beyond the usual bar bands and well-drink specials. There are so many vaguely geeky, kinda ironic events -- storytelling, science lectures, nerd speed dating, classes, freakin' pun competitions -- that even these indie-rock-band-of-the-night alternatives need to try something DIFFERENT to stand out.

"And I am Not Lying," a storytelling and variety show that just began a monthly residency at Union Hall (first Tuesday of the month, 8pm, $10), has one solution: mix it all up. A variety show, with acts lurching from standup to storytelling to burlesque to, um, rope tricks (!) is charmingly old-fashioned -- but pretty perfectly suited to the times. Y'all know what our attention spans are like these days, I don't have to tell you. (Feel free to post that funny thing you just saw on twitter while you clicked away for a moment. For me, it was a witty meta-joke about the "Shit so-and-so's say" meme. Pretty solid.)

Cherry Pits, aka, Cyndi Freeman

Tuesday night I checked out the first show of their residency, and got ears and eyes full of anecdotes, jokes, raps, ropes, and boobs. It's the NY-deli lunchtime buffet of shows, and it does one thing very well: keeps you from growing numb to joke-after-joke-after-joke at a standup venue, or the familiar tropes of every (many) story at the usual story slam (here's the part at the end where I talk about what I learned!).

It keeps things fresh, to be brief. And there's a little bit more anticipation than at similar shows -- you don't know what's coming next.

The standouts from last night's show: 

Schaffer The Dark Lord

* Schaffer the Darklord, rapper: Introduced as a rapper, out comes this nebbishy looking, white-as-hell dude in a slim black suit, with purple-and-black pinstriped shirt and wire-frame glasses. Even with the introduction, I assumed he wasn't really going to rap. Like, it was an ironic intro. I fully expected standup about how he has so many amusing sexual neuroses. But the dude spit it. EVEN THEN, I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be ironic or not. To be honest, I've been in Brooklyn too long to know the difference anymore. Didn't matter. I'm not the best judge of flow, but he certainly didn't embarrass himself, and I was entertained throughout.  

He addressed the humor of the white-guy rapper thing not through self-conscious jokes, but by choice of subject matter: an obsession with Jello Biafra in one song, a dragons-and-sorcery retelling of a common NYC experience (won't ruin the satisfying reveal) in another. I'd see him again.

Jeff Simmermon

* Jeff Simmermon, storyteller/host: Despite the variety schtick, this show's raison d'etre is clearly storytelling. The three core members (two of whom shared hosting duties) are all storytellers. Simmermon's was the best -- combining the strongest points of the other two tellers' tales: anecdote and emotional insight. His story of a big-hearted, amusingly white-trashy sister and the abusive boyfriend Jeff confronted, um, unconventionally (by smooching the homophobic wannabe gangster in the bathroom) was surprising, gripping, funny -- and felt very real. 

Brad Lawrence

"Handsome" Brad Lawrence, the other host, had a cool anecdote about a gun-filled Halloween party, with ace details like Brad's "flasher" costume and the thought his mom would have to i.d. his trench-coated corpse. But it wasn't much more than anecdote. Fellow storyslammer (and wife) Cyndi Freeman shared a tale of New York uncertainty full of emotional fragility -- with little plot. Jeff's had both elements, sprinkled with hilarious wigger speak and underpinned by the depth of familial bonds. Good stuff. 

(I have a feeling they know who's giving the strongest story in any given show, and that person closes, as did Jeff this time. Next show, I wouldn't be surprised if Brad or Cyndi take the headliner spot with a stronger across-the-board story.)

Chris McDaniel

* Chris McDaniel, rope trick artist: So, there was a frickin' rope trick champion. If a variety show weren't already charmingly old-fashioned enough, this put it over the sepia-toned top. As host Brad Lawrence said, it was awesome the way things were awesome when you were 13 and haven't quite been since. Just right.

Cyndi Freeman, in her alter-ego "Cherry Pits," also brought some cleavage to the stage, opening the show with '50's-houswife-themed burlesque: big pink wig, yellow cleaning gloves -- stripped down to pasties and panties -- then un-stripped into heels, strapless dress, and a huge pearl necklace (you heard me). I've never seen (adult) nudity so charmingly un-sexual. That's not a dig: she's hot. But it all seemed innocent and fun -- though a little weird when she re-stripped during intermission while people chatted among friends. I'd say few of my casual conversations happen next to naked boobs. (I don't get invited to those parties.) 

Ophira Eisenberg

Ophira Eisenberg filled out the set list with stand-up. She was certainly funny -- my scrawled notes were def scrawlier from the laughter -- but...Well, here's her schtick: New Yorker, neurotic, Jewish, cusses a lot. So, it's not exactly groundbreaking. But you'll laugh, so I guess that's what counts.

But it's not like there was anyone else on stage that night with the same or similar act. Which is the point: here's a pretty easy way to sample the many and amazingly varied talents bubbling all over NYC and BK. "And I am Not Lying" continues at Union Hall -- and has a spot at this year's South-by-Southwest, if you're headed to Austin around that time.