Whoa....Lucali Coming To South Slope??

Please, Gawd, let this be true:

"Reliable sources report to Eater that Lucali, favorite of both Beyonce and Alan Richman and undeniably one of the top pizza places in New York, is expanding to the South Slope. Reps at Lucali won't confirm, but the insider tells us it's moving into an old medical supply storefront on 6th Ave. and 20th Street..."

(via Eater)

Whole Foods Ain't Happenin in Park Slope

Sorry, bitches. It's official:

“Whole Foods does not have immediate plans to open in Brooklyn,” said company spokeswoman Mara Engel Weleck, who suggested that the land [on 3rd Ave] would be sold.

Of course they say they'd *still* maybe, kinda, sorta like to come to BK at some point, but who knows when that will be, blah, blah, blah.

Personally, I love Trader Joes waaaay more, so I kind of don't give a shit. You?

(via The Brooklyn Paper)

Vue Opens At Hotel Le Bleu

photo: Nicole Bengiveno/New York Times

According to the NYT, that rooftop resturant lounge, the Vue,has opened on up at Hotel Le Bleu--i.e. Park Slope's only boutique hotel.

Now, I love the shit out of boutique hotels, but I've heard some interesting things about Hotel Le Bleu. Like:

*It's ridiculously overpriced.

*The bathrooms in the hotel rooms are open to the actual room itself, so you'll be taking a shit in front of your husband/kid/one-night-stand/professional escort.

*Hardly anyone is staying there.

*Despite the "views" they talk about in this NYT blurb, the most significant "view" is that of grimy 4th Avenue.

*This restaurant was supposed to open eons ago.

Now granted, I've never been to the joint, so this all could be untrue. Maybe the place rocks so hard, you won't even notice that there is a homeless dude with a shopping cart full of cans loitering outside the lobby, or that your hotel (plus balcony, mais oui!) overlooks the taxi cab garage next door. I guess what I'm saying is, I'm willing to let bygones be bygones and check this place out for my damn self.

Anyone been??

How Fat Can You Get?: 5th Avenue Street Fair

You bitches go to the 5th Avenue Street Fair on Sunday?

It was cold...and windy...and started raining at one point.  But Greg and I still enjoyed a couple of hours or so of our favorite Street Fair game: how fat can you get?

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Jonathan Safran Foer Thinks Park Slope Restaurants Are 'Miserable'

Ok, YES...this is a blog dedicated to making fun of Park Slope. We poke fun at self-important Park Slope parents, point and laugh at orange-vest clad Coopretards, roll our eyes at crying bebes at Sunday brunch at Sette, and generally just sit around trying to come up with shit that we know will piss off Burklee Caroll.

I mean, we're assholes. So we feel totally entitled to bitch and moan about all the other assholes here cause its fun...and we're bored (and out of weed).

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