Fornino Doesn't Have A Kid's Menu [OH YES THEY DO]

UPDATE: Gothamist just alerted us to the fact that Fornino caved ALREADY.  Calling all BALLERS: Abort mission! Fornino is now *off* our officially approved BALLER list.

So I was browsing through the reviews of Fornino on Yelp yesterday and I noticed a potential BREEDER rage trend.

Mostly people liked it pretty ok. I mean, there was some bitching about how it was way too hyped up, and that the service was a bit uneven, but also there was an underlying theme of frustration over the fact that there was no kids menu:

"There is no children's menu.  16 buckaroos for 8 ravioli, and 12 for plain papardelle for the one of the kids."

and this:

"My issue is the menu.  I'm sure this place does awesome in hipster W'burg, but in breeder Park Slope, this menu has issues.  There are no "simple" menu items I could order since of course last night was the night my son decided to be picky.  I wasn't looking for chicken fingers and french fries, but maybe a basic pasta I could order as an app would have worked."

and this from Twitter:

"Awesome, but not so great for the breeder. My kids had trouble picking from the menu."

Verrrry innneresting. I wonder if its gonna be a too bad, so sad approach (a la Provini), or is Fornino gonna cave and add chicken fingers to the menu?

Only time will tell, but for now I'm gonna go ahead and add Fornino to our BALLER approved list of restaurants.

Seltzer Bo-oy-oy, Where Are You Hi-i-ding?

photo: via NYTSo, I LOVE that people still get seltzer delivered. My mom, an honorary Jew, but really a Park Slop Sicilian, can't get enough of it. She waxes on about the egg creams of her youth (a beverage that makes me barf a little in my mouth).

Anyway, I regularly see this mystifying nostalgia truck parked around the hood loaded with cases of bottles. Ronny Beberman, aka Seltzer Man of Brooklyn, sells the shit (I mean nectar of the gods) for $25/case of 10 siphon bottles every two weeks, delivered to your door.

"It's like night and day," said one subscriber. According to seltzer dude's wife, who seems to be in charge of marketing and new sales and was hoping for one in me (sorry!), it's more fizzy and won't go flat like regular store-bought, it's good for the environment, and it tastes way better without the plastic bottle flavor.

So, if you've got a yen for the fizzy (and i don't mean lizzy), help keep Ronny in business. He's at 718.464.6408.

FIPS Food Throwdowns: The Burger Edition [Flipster's vs. Purity Diner]

Okay, so here’s the situation: after asking you jerks for some suggestions on where to do this month’s FIPS Food Throwdown (the burger edition), I got a bunch of whiny bullshit about how I’m an asshole for even thinking of getting a burger delivered to me.  I should eat it at the restaurant, you said, or I should make one for myself because it’s not that hard! 

LISTEN: I know it’s not that hard to make a goddamned burger.  I love to cook, and I do it often.  But, guess what?  Sometimes life gets in the way.  Sometimes you have to stay late at a job you hate and you’re too tired or lazy to make dinner.  Sometimes you’d like to cook, but you don’t have the time to get to the store.  This is why delivery exists, and this is why this column exists—we wade through the delivery dregs to find the best options for specific foods/meals if you don’t feel like busting out your pots and pans and cooking.

So, now that we’re all on the same page, let’s fucking do this. 

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12 Bucks for Coffee Makes Me More than Just Grumpy

I share your sentiment, dude.

Because we are all fucking made of money (ahem), the arguably best local coffee joint in the Slope, Cafe Grumpy, is now serving $12 cups of coffee.  Yes, the same $12 that will buy you like three days worth of food from Red Hot, or a drink with enough alcohol to knock a little lady like me flat on the floor for the same three days, can now be judiciously squandered on one cup of coffee.

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Coming-2-TheSlope: Restaurant Update

Fornino and Thistle Hill are almost here!  We are le stoked.  Here's some gossip from yer newest local gluttony points o' interest:

THISTLE HILL: Menu's posted on the door, and ladies and gents, food looks amazing.  I pass it nearly every day and have to concentrate on not wetting myself when I think about the ricotta gnocci.  Thinking about it right now, actually, but I'm wearing my good jeans.  Anyway, just in case you're curious what happens when you mix one yuppie neighborhood with one old punk dude, I have the answer: the Fat Mike Burger.  House-ground, grass-fed beef, potato roll and salt & pepper fries.  Snippet of the menu in the photo up top.

FORNINO: Grub Street says that the new Fornino locay on Fifth Ave is getting a little risky: Chef Ayoub is forgoing traditional brick oven pizza for grilled pies. The news is rocking the pizza world (which, incidentally, is like, me and a couple of other dudes who squat outside Di Fara, no biggie).  The best part?  Let out your pants, friends: they'll be in delivery-ready perfect circles and nothing will be more than $20.  Yes, please. Full menu here.

I'm pretty excited to erase all of the calorie-burning work I've done over the last three months in one fell swoop.  So, who's with me?