12 Bucks for Coffee Makes Me More than Just Grumpy

I share your sentiment, dude.

Because we are all fucking made of money (ahem), the arguably best local coffee joint in the Slope, Cafe Grumpy, is now serving $12 cups of coffee.  Yes, the same $12 that will buy you like three days worth of food from Red Hot, or a drink with enough alcohol to knock a little lady like me flat on the floor for the same three days, can now be judiciously squandered on one cup of coffee.

Let's take a step back.  Now, to be fair, I really shouldn't be able to judge Grumpy on this one.  Or judge anything regarding coffee, period.  After twenty-something years, I just started drinking coffee five weeks ago, which makes my coffee palate like a newborn's, and I probably couldn't tell the difference between Terrace Bagels coffee and Grumpy's nine billion dollar high-end fancy-process African drying bed shit (yep, this is a thing).  Maybe this brew really is the most orgasmic thing ever, ready to teach me that I've been looking for lurve in all the wrong places.

But what I can judge is the searing pain in my heart each time Starbucks has me fork over $2.92 for a small cup of something, so the idea of needing to like, take a second mortgage on my home for a $12 cup brings me close to soiling myself.

Maybe you're all just rollin' in the dough and stoked about whipping out your Amex Black to buy yourself some fancy effing coffee.  (And really, if you are, I'm hot on the hunt for a sugar daddy to help me take care of rent--and, uh, I guess coffee now--so be in touch.)  I am a huge Grumpy fan--I really am--but I'm keeping my $12, thanks.  How about you?