Rick Santorum May Be Out, But His Cocktail Is Still In

Photo by Bryan Bruchman / The Brooklyn Paper

Rick Santorum may have suspended his presidential campaign, but that hasn't stopped the folks at Pacific Standard from selling their frothy, brown "Santorum" cocktail. “It’s the most popular cocktail on the menu, so we’re keeping it,” manager Jeremy Hunt recently told The Local.

Sweet. 

And if you haven't done so yet, please take this fun quiz designed by FiPS writer Thomas to see if you can tell the difference between Santorum the person, Santorum the drink and the Santorum the disgusting bi-product of anal sex.

Frothy Brown Santorum Now Being Served in Glasses at Pacific Standard

Photo by Bryan Bruchman / The Brooklyn Paper

If you've been on The Google Machine lately, you might be aware that lots of people are talking about Santorum surging from behind in places like Ohio and Tennessee. But now, you can get a frothy glass full of Santorum at Brooklyn's own Pacific Standard, too.

Confused?  We're here to help!

Santorum has, heretofore, had two meanings:

1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex; and

2. Republican Presidential candidate and former US Senator from Pennsylvania, Rick Santorum.

Now, however, there's a third meaning, because Pacific Standard has whipped up a frothy brown cocktail that's meant to evoke (at least visually) the thick, dark, fetid, sludgy concoction of Astroglide and shit. 

We've all come full circle, really.  Think about it this way:

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[FIPS Was There...] Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Pop-Up Cocktail Hour #16

We here at FIPS spend a hell of a lot of time out and about in Brooklyn, attending outdoor concerts, comedy shows and various other events. So [FIPS Was There...] is where we're gonna' talk about all this shit.

If there's one thing that I truly appreciate, it's booze. If there's something I appreciate even more than that, it's free booze. If said free booze happens to be of high quality, I LITERALLY ejaculate right in my pants. In fact, that's exactly what I did when I got the email asking me to head over to Carroll Gardens on Wednesday night to check out a Pop-Up Cocktail Hour (PUCH) from some entity called Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. I LITERALLY spooged all over the insides of my trousers.

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GQ Still Trying to Prove That They Know All About Brooklyn

Photo via GQ

The horrible parade of criminal injustices visited upon Brooklyn by GQ Magazine continues. First, they posted their Eaters Guide to Brooklyn, which was really more of a "Hot Restaurants Two Years Ago" list. I followed up with my own BK Eaters Guide, which you commenters happily chimed in on.  

And now, we have this. It's a nightlife guide!  And by "nightlife" they mean "bars and lodging." I don't know about you, but if I find a good bar, I don't need lodging that night.  You shouldn't, either.

That being said, here's my guide to drinking in Brooklyn.  

Pick a Bar with an Accelerated Buy-Back.  If you have more than four drinks at a bar on a regular basis (and, let's face it, you wouldn't have read this far if you didn't), you want to know whether your third or fourth drink (or ANY drink) is gonna be comped.  And if you're drinking someplace that doesn't give you a free drink after drink number 5...well, I feel sorry for you.  For me, Excelsior has always been consistent with buy backs--maybe because I'm gay and have a low-grade drinking problem.  If you fall into either of those categories, you should think about drinking there.

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REVIEW'D: ROYAL ROSE COCKTAIL SYRUPS

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in New York City who is not on some form of anti-depressants.  Because of that, I drink a whole lot.  SELF-MEDICATION, IT'S TOTALLY FINE.

So when the folks over at Royal Rose Syrups wanted to send me some stuff to try out, I was totally into it.  I'm not getting drunk because I have a problem, MOTHER, I'm getting drunk because it's WORK.  

And what hard work it is.   

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