Park Slope Craigslist Personals: Bachelorette Edish

 

What are your plans for 2012?  Finally invest in a beer-making kit? Really start getting coffee at the bodega since it’s only fucking 75 cents? Cool, but what about your love life? What about getting effed in Park Slope?  For inspiration, I’m attempting to match this lovely local bachelorette with three potential Park Slope connections! You’re welcome, pers-n6uuf-2791791953@craigslist.org, and may you reach your corporeal goals! 

First let's meet:

The Bachelorette: Spanking. And dates. - 27 (Park Slope)

Hello out there -- it's officially a new year. So I'm looking forward to new possibilities! My ideal winter date would be a guy in his 30s who is handsome, has his life more-or-less in order, and likes to indulge in a little kink. I do not want a crazy S&M boyfriend or whatever. Just want the pool of men I date to be guys who really like spanking, and are good at it. Life's too short to wait till the third date to disclose that, right? :)

Send over a photo of your handsome face, and propose a date plan! I'll send a face photo back if your reply strikes my fancy. Bonus points if you live in the neighborhood or at least closeby.

PS: Yes, I am serious--NO FACE PIC + DATE IDEA, NO REPLY. Thanks :)

Bachelorette, meet your local bachelors:

Bachelor #1: Kinky Girl Needed ASAP - 24 (Park Slope) LINK NSFW, BTW.

I am 6 feet 178 pounds, in shape, good looking, i just dont like bullshit. looking for a wild minded female playmate for chilling, watching movies, 69, Bondage, 2 on 1, role play, oral at the movies, high end club bathroom sex, well thats starting to take things a bit far, thats all call me 718 six one too nine i i six. All races cool. Just be straight to the point and you will get what you want I am 6" cut. 420 occasionally. Love good food restaurants cafes

Bachelor #2: I want a "white man's bitch" - 64 (Park Slope)

OK.. so it is a fantasy.. but maybe we can work something out. I'm not demanding.. one or two dates monthly.. compensation available. Other than the rather disrespectful term "white man's bitch" (I didn't make it up.. a Black politician did) I can be kind, generous and pleasant. Can we discuss a mutually beneficial arrangement like adults? Discretion and disease free necessary.

*Bachelor #3: cinematographer (park slope)

your films have two or more nameless women in them who don't talk to teach other and if they do talk, they are talking about men. you have rope, duct tape, and a brown paper bag and seek a male

Good fucking luck to all the singles in this town (and I sincerely mean that)!

*Link removed - has he found love?